Should I be concerned or am I overthinking?
My little boy is 15 months old, heās recently taken his first steps and he says mamma and dadda and baba (he has said these for months) weāve filled out the paperwork for his 12-14 month review and it looks like he isnāt meeting many of his milestones.
He doesnāt copy actions, point, clap etc. He doesnāt react when being spoken to, or to his name. He actively avoids eye contact.
He was so unresponsive to sound that we just had his hearing tested concerned he was deaf. They found that he could hear so he is just choosing not to react to any noises or sounds.
Has anyone else had similar experiences with their little ones? Should I be raising this with the health visitor and ask to be assessed for neurodivergent issue or a social communication problem like autism?
I donāt want to just slap a label on him, but I do feel that there are real concerns. All opinions welcome!!
I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realizedā¦
This is such a ramble but I donāt know where else to put it all.
Iām four months in and I donāt really have hobbies right now. I donāt do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.
And I thought I didnāt mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think itās altering how I view people around me and itās prodding at my relationship with my husband.
He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.
And yet thereās like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know heās running off to start up the bot. Even though Iām the reason he does it this way.
We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. Heās always brought a laptop on trips and itās never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldnāt. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasnāt reason to. Itās not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasnāt avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was āwhy the hell would you do this on a family trip?ā
I donāt know what it is. Maybe itās the less complete sleep from babyās middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe Iām not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But Iām just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks āyou could be using that time differentlyā but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???
I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And heās of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.
I donāt want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also donāt know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. Itās like Iāve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.
Maybe I need a therapist.
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