Weaning off night breastfeeds

I am currently in the same stage. I have really reduced down to nursing about 30 min before bedtime. But my son wakes up anywhere from 4:30 to 7. I have begun letting him cry. He cries anywhere from 15 min to 30 — worst is 1 hour. It’s really hard for us since we are soon to wake around 6a. But I’ve reached my limit and am ready to get my mornings back. So I’m trying to be consistent. Basically our pediatrician told us to not give in… bc now the baby will think that mom/dad will always come feed me no matter how long I cry. So it’s the war of the wills. I’m interested to know how other moms are handling this phase because it’s really hard. 💕

What time is your baby waking?

yes so hard! Do you do anything to make him calm down while he cries?

So when I put him down for bed, I will allow holding for 1 min, lay him down rub his back for 1 min whispering that it’s bedtime. Then we leave. No matter if he is awake or crying. We do not go back in and let him cry it out. It gets better over time. He has to learn to fall asleep without us as a crutch. I have been more flexible with him than my daughter who is now 5.

Still doesn’t get easier though even though I’ve gone through this before.

I find that it’s impossible to get through this phase without tears. But you will be so thankful and happy once it’s done.

honestly theres no consistent pattern, or time, on a good night she wakes 3-4x on a bad night i lose count. We co sleep so i cant let her cry it out 😭 it is so so difficult

So if she is waking multiple times, it’s because she’s expecting you to come. Unfortunately, the only way is to stop completely and muscle through the tears. It is extremely hard. I know. But if you know she’s eating enough during the day, she’s not oversleeping during the day, she goes down to sleep (without a sleep crutch — e.g nursing, paci, holding) her room is comfortable and dark, she should be okay. The only other thing that may be a nuisance is teething — but you will also know this in advance as well.

I recommend the book “Precious Little sleep”. That was a good read that helped us with our firstborn .. and have carried over some of the best practices to our youngest. It worked wonders for us — and is an entertaining read.

Don’t let your baby cry it out, when a baby stops crying it’s because they think no one will come. They still need you. Don’t be tight.

If it’s an option, try and stop co sleeping. I co slept with my LO up until 9-10 months and we got to a point where she was waking up countless times through the night and even the night feeds weren’t always enough to get her to fall back asleep. I realized it was because she was finally ready to transition to her crib full time. At that point I did the Ferber method and now she feeds once before bed time and then sleeps through the night! Just sharing my experience I hope it gets better for you both❤️

hey, you may want to check out @heysleepybaby for ways to reduce the nighttime feeds. she has good suggestions about adding in new sleep associations before decreasing the feeds so that baby has other things that can help comfort them and get them back to sleep. feels like a respectful way to help them through the change.

Thank you you guys have given me some helpful advice which i will work on!

I’ve been off the app for about a week & came to check in with you to see how it is going.

I just realized you said that you co-sleep. I can definitely understand your difficulties more clearly now. She is going to want to feed and cry until she gets it because you’re there and so accessible. Babies are so smart (& persistent! 😂)

Honestly my recommendation would be to get her in her own bed/room if that is possible. If not, consider at a minimum allowing her to sleep in pack n play or mini crib in your room.
I would say that if you desire (or are only able to) co-sleep I would still refuse feedings but you can comfort her by rubbing her back, singing etc.
I changed my tune from before bc I did not realize that you were co-sleeping. That adds another layer of complexity because if you let her cry it out and she is right next to you, it may be confusing to her. And I don’t want for her to not have a secure attachment to you as a result.

I have more questions :
What does your babe wear to sleep? Are her diapers super full in the morning?
Do you have a sound machine to drown out ambient noise?
Does she have her own blanket or sleep sack?
Do you think she too hot (or cold)?

I ask these questions because it sounds like there is something could be bothering her that would cause her to randomly wake several times in the middle of the night.

I definitely recommend reading up on the best path forward to sleep training. I’m sure the other book that was recommended on this thread is worth a read as well.

I just know that babies get more stubborn (and opinionated) as they grow older. It might be a lot more harder to break co-sleeping and the night waking habit when you have an older toddler.

Either way, this process is not easy by any means. But consider what is best for you and your sanity and start from there. 💗