Advice please

Hi guys, some advice would be really appreciated please…
My little one self settles and has done for months, we’ve not had a contact nap in a good 2/3 months. She hates being rocked to sleep, patted, shushed etc. Her dummy is her comfort.

When she was first born I asked my grandparents if they would look after her half a day per week once I return to work. I am now massively regretting this decision. They don’t listen to anything I say in terms of sleep. They had her last week whilst I had a KIT day, I explained when I dropped her off what time her nap was due and how to put her down.

They took it upon themselves to not try and get her to nap until 15 minutes after my specified time because “she didn’t look tired”, and made her have a contact nap which they rocked her for 15 minutes to get her to nap.

I’m so unhappy knowing my little one will have been fighting the nap and crying for the full 15 minutes as she hates to be rocked.

Am I overreacting, how would you guys go about this?

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I understand how you feel and my only suggestions is to explain to them again or ask them to try it your way next time. My in laws don’t always follow what we’ve said to do but as long as our little one is happy and goes to sleep for them, we don’t mind so much. For example, they put him down for bed recently while we went out for dinner. He wouldn’t sleep so they got him up again and took him for a walk in the pram to sleep when all he needed was a little cuddle in his room. I’m trying not to be too overly protective of our routine when others are looking after him - after all they all had babies one day too!

Did you ask about if she was fighting the nap or not? Because if they admit she was, you can definitely explain "well remember what I said about the dummy..."

If they don't admit it was difficult, that's a bit more tricky to address and really annoying!

They told me she was fighting the nap and crying for 15 mins so that’s what’s frustrating, it’s more the thought of my daughter being unhappy because they’ve not followed my instructions rather than them not following the same routine if that makes sense. They also do other things like grab her off me as soon as I walk through the door and start saying to her “do you need a nappy change” and asking me for nappies, saying she needs an outfit change, saying she needs a nap when she doesn’t and don’t hand her back when she’s crying. So I suppose the issue is deeper, that they don’t respect me as a parent and act like I’m incapable and their way is best and the nap is just the final straw 😂
I have tried to get her into nursery for the full day so they don’t have her for half a day per week but the nursery doesn’t have space until next September so I’m stuck for now 😩

This is so tough because they are also helping you out so you want to keep them on side whilst your little one still has their routine… such a dilemma!
I would politely explain again and demonstrate it when they were visiting me so they can see it in practice and say what the knock on effects are later in the day / evening if the routine isn’t followed x

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