Anybody else have no help/ village?

We don’t have any help unless we pay a nanny. My parentes live in another country, my husbands family live in another city, but even when we are there they don’t offer to watch out daughter for us to go at least to the cinema. Sometimes I feel sad because we can’t go for a dinner if we don’t spend tons of money.

oh man girl, that sounds VERY tough!!! Yes I am definitely lucky to at least have his father who helps. Sending you love !!!! And hopefully you’ll get some support sooon

I feel you !!!

We are due in 6 weeks and won’t have any help. I’ll be off work for a bit for the family leave and pregnancy disability but once i go back to work we will be switching back and forth with her. My mom lives out of state and my MIL is an alcoholic so i don’t trust her.

This!! Both sides of the family wanted to rush over during week one but none of them have been since? My dad hadn’t seen my LO in over 5 months until her christening in Sept! My mum lives half hour down the road but always has an excuse why she can’t visit, his mum literally wants to pop in when she has no other plans (usually after her days out) so the times are really inconvenient. Fed up of their bullshit. My mum is desperate to have my baby but I’ve said no, she hardly knows any of her grandparents so why Tf would I want my baby staying with them? I’d rather leave her with friends!
I know it’s frustrating BUT fuck everyone!

ugh yeah I’m so sorry!!!

yeah, seriously! Hate that you relate, but thanks for sharing !! At least there are others who understand 💖

Yes, I totally understand this. It’s sucks. I’m on baby number two and it’s been hard not having support. I have to pay for support but even that is hit or miss. There are people that don’t understand how lucky they are if they have support but they should be understanding of those that don’t. I just keep this in my mind for my kids so as they become parents I hope to be healthy to support them because it goes a long way.

Yeah I don’t have anybody either! My in-laws don’t offer to help but want to see baby all the time and I don’t have a mum and my dad is 30 mins away and I can’t imagine him changing nappies 😂

absolutely !!!! Baby number two seems so hard to manage! Sounds like you’re doing a great job despite the circumstances

btw we’re in reseda I see you’re in Pasadena !

I’m in the same boat, and my husband travels a lot just me and my princess at home .But it’s not easy.

Yep - me and my husband both aren’t from the US and only his mother is here but she is useless as she doesn’t take care of herself and is sick all the time and my whole family lives abroad. To be honest not even my husband helps much as he works a lot and then on Sundays he is usually out and about with friends and has soccer tournaments 🥲 I am with my baby 24/7 and I love her but not gonna lie, is rough at times (especially now with teething). It definitely makes a huge difference if you have friends & family around to help so you can catch a breath in between so you’re not alone!

I literally have NOONE. My daughters father is not involved. My mom is old & handicap so she's in no position to help out with baby. My dad is deceased. I literally have NO friends. I don't speak to any of my family. & even if I did, none of them live close to me so they wouldn't be any help anyways...I'm truly on my own. It's just me & my daughter.

Same here, we moved away from our home state then we had a baby. So it’s just us three. Had a visitor twice . No baby sitter, we work alternating schedules.

Me and my husband moved to the UK last year, leaving all our friends and relatives behind, so we have also zero support group apart from the local GP and midwives) we, as mature people will need to figure everything out on our own, because no-one of our parents is planning to fly here (UK travel visas are hard to get). In case we start losing sanity, as you said, we will have to find someone to help us for money

This would be us. All family is over a thousand miles away and we have no help and can’t afford to hire help. It’s incredibly hard.

I don’t even have my sons father well he’s there but doesn’t help he just texts every now and again asking how our son is doing and then comes see him for like a hour every 5-6 weeks that’s if he can be bothered as always full of excuses so yeah he don’t help one bit his family never make a effort either and I’ve got my mum and sister that can help here and there but they both work so can’t always rely on them so I get it

We live the other side of the world to family and most of our friends either left the city during lockdown or are childless. We do it all on our own and my partner works away for weeks at a time too. I totally get it x

We don’t have any help. We are in New Jersey and my family is in Texas, his family is in Virginia. No friends with kids either. 🤷‍♀️ We put the baby in daycare during the week but if we ever want to do something on our own we have to hire a babysitter.

No help here

All 3 sets of our parents (mine are divorced and re-married) live nowhere near us. We knew we’d have no help when I got pregnant, but it’s tough and I get jealous too when I see friends who have help every week! This is one of the reasons we will not be having anymore, we want our time back to keep up with our own hobbies x

I’m in the same boat. It’s really hard. It’s the fact that the people around you who I feel should be doing more to help, simply don’t give a shit. People can make up all sorts of excuses but I don’t believe them because at the end of the day when somebody really wants to do something, or go somewhere, guess what their going to do it. It’s not like their lives have stopped, they still go about their business living their life!
But their actions show you that they don’t want to be in yours and they certainly don’t want to take on any ounce of responsibility for looking after your child, even if it is once in a blue moon.
People are selfish and only think about their own needs, they think that one night of babysitting now and again is going to take away their whole life 😂. KMT

I don’t speak to my family for many reasons and this is one of them.
Being in my contact list is not enough. How can family see you struggle but choose not to help take the pressure off?!
That’s not family!!!

I agree with you and a lot of people love saying it’s not their responsibility to help. I absolutely think it is their responsibility especially if they identify as family.
I do understand that at the end of the day I’m going to do what I have to but it’s sad when no support is given. It’s the audacity of folks to still call me and ask me for things and they haven’t shown any support for me.

especially if you always provide support and then get none when you are in need

exactly! Happens all the time and I wonder if they just look at us like we are strong and don’t need the support.

I can imagine!!!

yes it’s definitely much harder with zero help. !

I feel this!!!

omg yes exactly!!! Sucks even more when you have people near but they DONT help - like if my parents lived across states, I’d understand…. But my mom is about 45 min away and my dad about an hour and a half 🤷🏼‍♀️