Dad’s going out without mum/baby

So me and my partner are first time parents. Our LG is 5 months old this month and since she was born I’ve not had more than 2 hours away from her and even within those 2 hours I will ALWAYS check in on her. My partner has had many days/evenings/nights out, since she was born and he never checks in to see how she is! Am I over reacting or should he be checking in more? Even if it is just to see how she’s doing. Can’t help but feel annoyed by it and don’t know if I should say something.

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Okay so there's 2 ways of looking at this - we, as women, are very obsessive over our babies, they were literally a part of us. Dad's care but sometimes men don't really think
However when my partner is at work he usually asks how we both are today
It could also be that he knows if there was an issue you would let him know so he's not concerned with her care as he knows you're a great mammy 🥰

See I feel the same way as you, my partner works nights and leaves the house at 4pm and is back by 8am following morning, now he can go his whole night shift without checking which annoys me, all I did the other day was walk to the bus stop and I was already checking In 🤣 so I raised my concerns with him and he said he thinks about us all the time while he's working but he doesn't worry about her, he misses us but doesn't worry and he doesn't he doesn't feel the need to check in and ask if she's okay because he feels that will undermine me as I'm her mum and ofcourse she's okay with me, he says after a certain time 7.30pm he doesn't see the point as he knows she's in bed asleep and by time he home of a morning we are just getting up, I understand what your saying though but you have to remember women are wired completely different to men when it comes to our baby's 💗 I wouldn't read too much in to it, I often txt him pics of her or if she's done something funny x

I mean if your texting and he's actively ignoring you then I would be pissed, and if baby is unwell I would expect him to be checking in. But if baby is unwell I'm hoping he won't go out? Work is different but a night out if baby is unwell then that's not fair x

Thank you both for your opinions. Whilst he’s at work during the week I regularly text him updates or pictures, but I do that because I know he feels like he’s missing out on a lot whilst working.
In the evening/weekends when he’s out with his friends however it’s different, I can’t explain it. Our LG was really poorly a few weeks ago and he went out to his friends to help with wedding stuff (he’s best man so I didn’t have a problem) but he checked in once over 4 hours and that was to ask how her ‘routine’ went? Then last night was the stag do and he didn’t ask how she was once.. I’m probably really overthinking it I was just curious if anyone else felt the same way and if they had said anything.

To be honest my partner has only been out twice since baby been born and one of those times was for paintballing so he couldn't really use his phone but dod check in when he was on way home etc the other time he was watching football with his friend at the pub and by time he had left we was tucked up in bed, he used to be out all the time especially when football was on but he prefers to be at home now with baby and she will watch football with him on the big TV 🤣 so I don't really have any advice on the going out situation but we are connected differently to our babies as women and you will find alot of men don't even think about texting to see if baby is okay because they are with mum and presume everything is fine but I do get what your saying.

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy