I want to live alone
I'm a single mom, never married. In a tough boat..
Living in a military town . cherry point to be exact ..
I have two baby daddies who pretty much grew up here . Not me. I came from a. Distance .
I can't regret it or I wouldnt have my kids . What I regret . .. is the steps that became overwhelming for me overtime tha made me a quitter.
I was strong for the longest I could be til things got hard my third and last pregnancy.
I truthfully only wanted another kid for my kid s he had some sort of social interaction with someone else as he only got to have a. Bond with his half brother 2hrs a week and that's hard for all of us.
My oldest is ten and has never known me to be with anyone else except his half brothers dad for 7yrs.
I never been or planned on being with anyone else.
But on the other hand I've felt trapped for years
The relationship is unhealthy as far as priorities go
He thinks bc hes the only one working that he gets to come home hours after work ended drunk af and act like he cares about us. I grew up with alcoholic parents so this is a huge no for me and my kids . He's using the job he has as an excuse to drink bc he's a graveyard keeper (literally) he only got this job bc his old roommate from before m shows up out of nowhere and got him the job and literally im stuck seeing him everyday . Even at my house after hours and I'm extremely annoyed.
I want to be just a family without all the dum shit . He gets snappy every time I ask him to do something with us. He hates festivals,parks , beaching ..anything in sunlight but will be a stupid porch drunk monkey all night for hours or be gone til 10pm when his job closes at 5 . Then has nerve to tell us he loves us everyday.
He's put me through so much trauma I'm almost regretting being pregnant with his second kid . He already got denied the last name for personal reasons as in were not married as never intend to be . So why bother ? Having a brother isn't a good enough reason to share the same last name. ..
Anywho..I'm tired. Annoyed. Stressed. And want to be alone... hnot only is it an alcoholic problem but he's a hoarder of junk and can never accomplish one thing and actually follow through with something he says he'd do.
I'm just done. Andi want out but I'm afraid the boys attachment is whats going to hurt . I don't want to be stuck in the same town forever bc of them. I can't even work a night shift job bc I can't trust him to even cook dinner!! He hasn't cooked ONCE or offered all year!! . I literally did anything I could t salvage any feelings I may have and I got nothing except he has been he only one to sta with us the last 7 years .he's my best friend solely bc everyone else left me and he was there . That's it. I can't love or marry someone that's out me through as much trauma as he has. It's a lot.
I just feel guilty wanting to move into the next place by myself or out of state back with my mom . I can't go to work and I'm 6months high risk pregnancy . Planned c section in effect I have 6weeks of healing plus I don't trust daycares til my kids can defend themselves. So I'll be unable to provide for my family. I'm just at lost. I'm under section 8 and they help already with electricity bill too so at least that helps..but how would I be able to cover.my other bills with a newborn and toddler if I chose t be alone... I refuse to step backwards and be 100% homeless. But then again I don't have a degree or friends that would help babysit to get me going . So I'm screwed. I have to leave my oldest behind at his dad's house in order to be free and idk if I'm that strong yet.. I'm just torn..for the kids .💔 I just don't want to continue being with an alcoholic . He's emotionally upsetting and that's already taking a huge toll on my pregnancy
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Make your plan, can you maybe do some cleaning jobs in your area after you’ve healed from your c-section to get some money? Maybe save in silence until you have enough to make a move….or at least enough to be able to really do it alone. I’m in the same boat, but I married my sorry man & had 5 kids with him. He’s not an alcoholic, but he’s an addict. He’s not horrible, but I’m like a single mom now….I just can’t afford to leave him! I hope you can get away, I know how hard it is to be so unhappy. Sending hugs!
I don’t have any advice but i live an hour away from cherry point. If you ever need a friend, don’t hesitate to reach out
cleaning requires me to be physical all day. When your high risk you're stuck at a drive thru position or desk position working solo. So no . I did that over the years it's just not my thing anymore . It still costs money and my spin mop broke over a month ago I can't even afford a replacement part . I do uber right now but my driver days are almost up as I can't reach the peddle comfortably if I have to move my seat anymore then more my stomach sticks out as I'm only 5foot small .
It all seems hopeless. I'm not crafty by any means .
And every job that allows.you to be at home requires to spend money I don't even have to spend . I have wifi and that's about to get cut off as I can't afford this seasons bill even at a discount rate.I'm solely leaning more towards my mom's house a this rate. :/ I just can't. He said some pretty bad stuff last night I woke up in tears bc he thinks I didn't hear him argue with himself bc he lost his phone after he passed out .
My phone was dead & told him to leave it alone . And he went and said shit like I'm pretty much useless. Can't work can't call his phone he lost bc he was stumbling all over the house and calls me out as if I do nothing at home. I do everything including keeping kitchen clean after he destroys it every night ðŸ˜
OP, I'm a single mom of 4 under 4 years old. It's not always easy, but I don't find it easier than with a partner that is not healthy. There is always a way. Taking to DHS or or social worker at your doctor's office about your situation is a place to start making a plan to live alone when you have children and can't work. You can always message me!
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