Feel like I’ve failed at weaning 😢

Hi mamas.
Not really sure what my point is in this post, maybe just to see if I’m not the only one or if there are any tips?

My baby is EBF and we introduced solids at just before 6m. He eats puree perfectly off a spoon if I feed him, and demolishes most of what I offer in puree form.

Finger foods is the complete opposite though. He has always gagged and almost choked, but to the point where he is vomiting everything he’s eaten when offered more solid food or finger food.

I feel like I’ve failed because we didn’t take the BLW route and now he’s almost 10 months, he still can’t manage solid food other than puree. I tried finger foods from the beginning but he just wasn’t interested. He can feed himself, as he can eat certain things like the Ella’s kitchen melty sticks. It’s just the solid food that’s the problem. He can just about tolerate the chunkier puree pouches for 7m+.

Am I the only one that’s completely failed at this? 😥😭

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My baby is exactly the same and I've done BLW and purée since 6 months. He seems to take pieces of say melon but gags on it and spits it out. I feel your pain!

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Ah it's so hard to watch but gagging is honestly normal and it's their way of learning how much to put in their mouth and swallow. I'd keep at it and just be patient, he will get there. You can still do a mix. My little one loved solid and finger food and hated purees but currently won't eat anything at all because he's poorly so even when BLW is going well it can go backwards!

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Gagging is such a normal reflex for babies! Just keep offering he will get used to it xx

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My baby is exactly the same, she can manage chunkier purees and loves melty sticks but struggles and actually isn't interested in anything BLW. I keep offering her things but feel the same as you. You haven't failed all. I need to get more confident at offering finger foods because I'm really anxious!

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it’s so hard isn’t it. I’ve spent so long making him bits that he’s just not interested in, so I feel like what’s the point?! And then got lazy with just purées! It’s so nerve wracking!
I’ve had to scrub the highchair down multiple times this week from him gagging and vomiting 🤮

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Yes, I feel you! It's also very disheartening when you cook something for them to throw it everywhere (luckily we haven't had vomiting), I feel like all I do Is make new meals, and then scrub the kitchen floor and highchair.

I'm going to try and get better, but I follow Annabel Karmels app and I have found she has a mixture of solids and purees so I'm hoping some of these things will help me ease my anxiety and hopefully get her used to more solid food!

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You aren't failing lovely, the gagging and vomiting is normal unfortunately. Its because their gag reflex is so sensitive and so high to start. The exploration and mouth mapping of it all gradually helps it improve, but it can take time. It's disheartening for sure, especially the clean up, but they'll get there 💜 xx

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My brother was 3 years old when he ate solids. Hes 22 now and eats everything. My boy is 10 months and he is on purrees only. Dont worry though. They do it when they are ready

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My boy is BLW but my two stepdaughters both only had purees until 12/13 months so dont feel like youve failed at all every baby is different. The thing that helped us the most in the early days was offering solid food teethers (https://solidstarts.com/why-we-love-resistive-sticks-of-foods-for-babies-starting-solids/) they're low choke risk as their not really eating it but is great for helping them map their mouths and train their gag reflexes. It does take time for them to stop gagging though, my boys 10 months now and even now if he takes too big of a bite or tries to swallow something before chewing it enough he will gag, but its a built in mechanism to stop them from choking so as hard as it is try not to intervene if their just gagging, give them 10/20 seconds to try manage it themselves first. I'd also recommend the solid starts app to make sure anything you do offer is appropriately cooked and cut in a suitable size (follow the advice for 6 months when starting). You'll get there ❤

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I feel awful that my baby won’t accept anything I give on a spoon so will only eat BLW (even then doesn’t eat much) so I don’t think you can feel you’re getting it right either way!!

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My LB struggled with finger food and gags and throws up, he is slowly getting better though but it’s taking a while. I keep offering a mixture of mashed up food which he likes to have and finger food but he either puts too much in his mouth gags and throws up most of the time on finger food or squashes it in his hands and isn’t bothered but I keep trying xxx

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I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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2

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AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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19

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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12

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?

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5

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