Not got my shit together

Anyone else just not got their shit together at all? My baby is just over one month old now and I’m still struggling to find time to get washed and dressed and adequately fed each day, as she is crying and feeding a lot and resisting naps so I don’t really have time to do anything. The house is a mess and so am I… is it just me? Feel like I’m failing

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My baby is a week younger that yours and my husband is about to go back to work. Im feeling just like you are! If you want someone to go through it with you, I’d be happy to connect!

My boy is almost 5 weeks and I'm behind with everything lmao! It's all I can do to keep my baby clean, dressed and fed haha! I struggle to do anything by myself, if I have a visitor, I get in the shower lol!
Its madness, trying to keep the washing going, the school uniform ironed for my older son, and then feeding me and the older son.
Honestly, it's totally normal xxxx

I'm absolutely the same my other half went back to work 10days after not much choice 🙃 and I'm struggling to keep on top off all the chores and looking after myself , I feel exactly the same especially more so cus when dickhead comes home he expects everything to be done, he certainly got told to do one or help , ur find your feet I'm just about managing it get better

I’m the same baby is 5 weeks tomorrow, partner goes back tomorrow🥺 hardly get dressed hardly leave the house as it’s just seems to much planning! House is a mess! I clean any chance I get so tired all the time! Don’t sleep cause my husband snores it’s so hard 😭

With my first baby I genuinely dont think I felt like I had my sh*t together until he was about 6 months old!! Try to remember that this is all completely new for both you and baby. No one gives you jnsteuctions on how to do it and it is so hard! It definitely gets easier but for now just take it one day at a time. You are looking after a small human and that takes a lot of time and energy. If you manage to get anything else done during the day, take it as a bonus!

Are we supposed to have our shit together? My little boy is 5 weeks old and I have an 18 month old daughter. I mostly feel like I'm sleep walking through my days - but their both loved, fed and well looked after so that's all that matters! Have you got anyone you can lean on for support? I find when my husband is at work my son will feed about 7, I know my daughter will then wake at 8 so I put him down after his feed and get up for a quick shower before getting dressed. I do find getting ready for the day does make me feel a bit more human but it's not the be all and end all. Just look after you and your baby, everything else can wait. It does get easier❤️

It’s completely normal to feel that way I think. Have you tried baby wearing? (Having baby in a sling) while you do the house things and eat. I’ve swapped over to showering at night when my partner is home and can sooth baby so I can relax in the shower.

I could have wrote this myself. Baby girl is 4 weeks today and I can’t eat or wash at all. If she’s not contact napping she is mainly screaming and it’s so tough. I literally cry each hour feeling a failure. You are not alone 🫶🏻

Thank you everyone for making me feel like I’m not alone ♥️ it seems none of us have our shit together 😂

I try and get out of the house as much as possible so I don’t have to look at the mess 😆 so good for my headspace aswell to get out and about. I don’t get time to shower much but getting some clothes on quickly and scraping my hair up I still go out, then when I come home i manage to get a few things done because I’m more motivated and put her in a carrier and she helps 😆

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?