Just a rant

Hey first time mum here and my little boy is now 7 weeks old. My husband went back to work when he was 3 weeks old, my husband has to do on call shifts as part of his job.
So far since he's been back we've been lucky enough to not have any jobs over night however tonight he's been called out to Bridlington! FYI we live near Chesterfield so there's a good 2 hours away.
My little boy is really grumpy in the evenings and cries a lot and my husband usually has him from about 7:30 but tonight he hasn't been home and won't be for hours, I heavily rely on him to help me out and take our in the evening and what I'm getting at is tonight I'm struggling so much!
So far I've sat and cried for a solid 45 minutes because I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing even though I have him all day everyday, nights just feel so much harder and different.

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Oh hun. Same. I spoke to my friends about this and there is a thing called bed dread. I still have it now and when my partner is on nights, my mum comes to stay over with me, as for some reason I just feel like I won’t cope and have no idea what I’m doing; only ever at night though, never in the day.
Have you got anyone who can come over who is local to help you out? You got this!

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My OH is an emergency response worker so works different shifts which include 2 night shifts per week which means he l isn’t around all night to help out, and also 2 early shifts (4am start) which means he doesn’t help out during the night before as he needs the sleep before work, his other 2 shifts he finishes at midnight so basically he can only help out on his 2 days off per week and other then that is ALL me…I find it stressful but what can I do, he needs to work and that’s just his shift pattern so there’s nothing I can do but deal with it. He deffo doesn’t understand how hard it is and from his perspective I’ve just been sitting on the couch all day lol but it is what it is x

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I feel for you. My husband’s shifts mean he’s out of the house from 3pm-1am several days per week, and evenings tend to be our boy’s unsettled time… I still haven’t fully got to grips with handling it solo, but it’s gradually getting a tiny bit easier. I’m still so much happier when he’s here though!

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I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

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Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

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My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

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Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

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Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

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Feeling like I’m failing

Hey guys, I need some advice or some positivity here!
My daughter is 5 months next week and she has her first tooth coming through! Yay! But for the past month or so she has become so wary of family whenever I go to visit! She screams, won’t settle, cries the whole time. I went for my birthday to celebrate and I had to leave because she just would cry looking at anyone :( it’s so hard because she used to be so good with anyone!

Will this change or is this just the way she is? I try to see them as often as I can, and my MIL is looking after her in two weeks overnight and part of a day and I’m petrified of what’s going to happen, that she’s going to scream. My poor MiL 😭. I’m a very calm and collected person and I don’t get worked up when she does react this way… I just feel so sad and down that I can’t be with family and that my poor girl is scared. I give her so many cuddles, milk, toys, going to a quiet room, but she just doesn’t settle 😭

Please someone say this is a phase and there is light at the end of the tunnel ?!!

With the weather getting nicer I just feel we are going to miss out on so many lovely family memories

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