My daughter is 6.5 months old and since birth I’ve never been able to get a good latch so I went with exclusive pumping and it worked for a while but around 4.5 months PP I got a bad clogged duct and ended up with pretty bad mastitis, strong antibiotics for 10 days cleared it and I started Lecithin supplements to prevent clogs. My journey continued. Since, I massage a lot during pumping, so much so that I only pump one breast at a time and never use wearables or pumping bras so I can ensure they are EMPTY.
WELP here we are 2 months after the last clog and I’ve got an even worse one, so painful, much larger hard nodule and so much soreness. I just know that it’ll turn into mastitis again bc I’ve tried for 24 hours now to unclog it and it’s just getting worse. I’ve tried every possible method to unclog, so not looking for that advice here.
Really upset about my pumping journey because I really hate doing it but I want to keep going for my daughter, I know it’s best for her. But I’m so tired of things going wrong (sore nipples, flange size changes, constant leaking into my clothes, exhaustion, infections, generally just *#£%ing fed up). I have so much guilt about it, but at what point is it okay to put myself first over her? I’m just so distraught and sad. I wanted to go 1 year. My husband supports me 100% with any decision I make, and told me not to feel guilt about stopping and that 6+ months is amazing. But I just feel like 💩 about it.
Any advice/thoughts/support on how to stop pumping without feeling like a crappy mom?
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Firstly you’re not putting yourself over her. You’re putting yourself first FOR her. A happy, healthy mom is so much more important than subjecting yourself to something that is actually making you ill.
You have already improved her immune system, reduced her risk of childhood leukaemia, reduced your risk of breast cancer and so many more amazing things. You should be so proud of yourself and now she’ll be having food too her stomach will be being exposed to all sorts so it seems like a good time to switch milk. I didn’t want to stop before 6 months because all she had ever known was my milk.
Thank you for the kind words 🥹 I think I’m going to try to slowly wean from the pump and switch to formula a little bit at a time. As soon as this clog is treated 🥲

No need to feel guilty! Pumping is hard as hell and you’ve done an amazing job and triumphed through very real difficulties!!! I had a lot of struggles with my little and I exclusively pumped for 4.5 months until we sorted out some issues and I was able to get him to latch. You should absolutely feel free to wean but if you have any interest in talking about what it looks like to start nursing super late, feel free to DM me! Good job, mama!!!!