Am I weird??

No thank you. She’s had her time to be a mother, now this is your time. Your partner should respect boundaries that you want to put in place.

If you want them to help out and they are able to then great but this shouldn’t be happening until you feel comfortable with it.

Their help to you should be doing chores and cooking meals etc not taking the baby when you are trying to bond

It’s not weird but they might not see how it comes across to you and are just really excited. Grandparents sometimes go a bit crazy in this way! Might be worth setting some boundaries now if you want some alone time with baby and no visitors for the first few weeks. Your baby will always be yours but hopefully just have a big family who love them!

It sounds like they are excited, love the baby and want to be involved and active in her life. As long as they respect your boundaries I don’t see the problem.

Her having everything may be odd, but if something were to happen to you in the hospital and you had to stay and baby got to go home, it is a great investment for you and her for her to have those things, my daughters grandma saved my arse last night because we ran out of diapers and here she had some! But aside from that, yes I agree with it is your baby and you shouldn't feel pressured to miss out on things because support is there, you are the varsity team and they are not the coaches they are b team to your kid, may not be b team in parenting in general, but to your kid specifically they are! When our daughter was born it was messy. I wanted my daughter to be at my home and if anyone wanted to give me a break they could watch her there, but when they did come, it was just nice to visit and see other people vs taking a nap and such. I tried to push myself out of that but it wasn't something I could do with my in laws. Just not a relationship I have with them. My mother on the other

Hand, I should have pushed for her to stay with me, I can look like a slob I. Front of her, take naps comfortably, (snore too 😂) breastfeed, etc. next time round that is our plan is we will be making arrangements for my mom to stay with us. But I am lucky because I can ask that and I have that person.

Honestly that would feel so incredibly invalidating to me. I’d be pissed about that too and would be doing some HARD boundary setting and expectation setting asap. My MIL is very enthusiastic about being a grandma and can be a bit over-involved and so my hubby and I have had lots of conversations about what would be acceptable and not acceptable and what we would do if she crossed a boundary. Knowing we are on the same page and having a game plan about it is SO helpful for my stress levels going into motherhood.

You and him need to be on the same page. He has to support you and do what’s best for you. Because what’s best for you means you’re able to take care of baby and yourself. I would say no visitors until you say ok. The first few weeks are very difficult and important in your bonding as a family. You will be bleeding, leaking, sweating and crying. All while taking care of a baby. Only have the people you want around during this vulnerable and precious time. They have their whole lives to spend time, help with and take care of the new baby. It doesn’t need to start right away.

Thank you so much for all the advice and reassurance!
I feel like I have to try and have another serious chat about boundaries. It just feels like he doesn't quite get it and makes me out to look like a bad guy while his mom only has good intentions. I love the intentions, but I also feel that you should be aware of how it might come across and read and respect the space. Fingers crossed. Thank you ladies! Xx

I would not be comfortable with this - only thing I wouldn’t mind is having a space set up for the baby at her house so you don’t have to lug stuff over whenever you do want them to watch the baby.

My mom had a bunch of stuff for my nephew and it really did help.

The expectation that you will be forced to leave the baby with them is not cool though. You choose when your baby is watched.

I went through something similar earlier in my pregnancy with my MIL questioning my decisions as a mother and putting mom shame on some of them. Also calling my unborn baby her baby and said she wanted her grandma name to be mama 🤦🏼‍♀️ I took space from her and communicated with my partner and I think she’s come around to realizing her place. I’ve also been trying to reframe how I see her excitement so it doesn’t trigger me and the mom I want to be because I get to be the mother. I applaud the GRANDMOTHER she will become to reassure her place as grandparent not parent again.