Fed up of SD

I have had enough of my SD17. 10 months ago she cut me and her half brother (15 months) out of her life. No one knows why, she just said we’re not her family and coming here is bad for her mental health. Me and OH have been together for 7 years and married for 4.
I’m currently in agony with a sore back as I suffer with lupus. OH said he wanted to meet her this weekend (has to meet her in parks as she won’t see me) but said to her that it would help if she came here for a cup of tea as my back has gone and I can’t lift our son.
She has said “How is that my problem? You can bring DS with you”.
He is not taking DS and we both feel that’s not right.
He is fuming and has told her he won’t meet her as what she has said is hurtful and it’s not right to pick and choose who she sees.
Despite trying to be kind and welcoming, I’ve always felt like she doesn’t like me, but this feels like yet another middle finger up at me.

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To be honest if you have done nothing wrong to her I wouldn’t be playing her silly games. You might not be her family but he is her Dad and she should love him enough to be happy. Your son is also her half brother so is her family. I’d be telling to accept that or come back when she does. She is a young adult now so no excuse for that behaviour

Exactly. She says coming to the house damages her mental health. So he asks why, what’s happened? She can’t name one thing I’ve supposedly done. No one in the family understands, and they’ve all seen me around her over the years.

Best thing to do is not rise to it. Offer her support for her mental health and reassure her that she is cared for. She may feel put out now you have a baby but she is old enough to manage those feelings better than the way she is. I’d get her Dad to express how he feels when she refuses to come and then let her make her own decisions.

I think at 17 she’s allowed to decide if she wants someone in her life, we sort of force these step families into children’s lives and i guess she just isn’t comfortable with that set up anymore and has decided it’s not for her… I don’t think it’s necessarily mean and rude but I do think she should still be respectful.
Did she cut half brother out or was that kind of a knock on of not wanting to see you?
She was rude in her reply but in theory she’s right - dad could take son out with him leaving you to rest to spend some time with her - she probably felt like this was a way of forcing her to spend time with you.

I’d back out of it - dad can continue to see her and if she’s open to a relationship with her half brother then as long as she’s respectful about you I’d let that happen, but I’d just step back and tell her doors always open if and when she wants to work on yours and hers relationship :)

I’m not sure she’s always respectful of me by what she has been saying to her dad (accusing me of things that simply aren’t true). She can see her brother when she starts to show some care for him and interest in him. She hasn’t seen him for 10 months and hasn’t asked her dad once how he is

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Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

AITA

In the uk there is an outbreak of meningitis, in a specific area mainly. My BD has family from that area and decided to go and meet up with them, I said if he does then he cannot have contact with the kids for 7-10 days after incase he picks anything up. Am I being over dramatic? I reallyyy don’t want my young kids getting anything serious

This might rattle some people

Ok, this might get a bit long, and a bit bumpy, so get comfy and buckle up.

So about a week or 2 ago, there was a post on here regarding sleepovers. Not letting their child go to them as you can't trust who'll be at the house etc.

Now, given recent incidents in nurseries and schools, plus my own experience back in the 90s, I am more concerned about sending my child to nursery and later school than I am to a friend's house for a sleep over.

The other day a man was jailed for abusing children at the nursery he worked at. A woman has been arrested for sleeping with an underage boy and then getting pregnant by a different underage boy while on bail for the first offence.

Young girls and boys get sexually harassed and bullied when at school, not all of them. But more than you think. And not just by other kids, but by adults who we as parents are trusting to look after our kids.

A sleepover, is a more controlled environment, with only a handful of people coming into contact with your child. A school, a club etc there can be 100s of people coming into contact with your child.

I was targeted at 7 years old by the owner of a prominent private school. Thankfully, I wasn't SA'd. In year 5 of primary school, I started to develop early, I was harassed by the boys and teachers made remarks about how my uniform didn't fit right, always "adjusting it" around my chest and legs.

Years 7-9 of secondary school were hell. But it was all under the guise of "we're just messing around". A teacher twanging my exposed bra strap (none uniform day) is not "messing around".

Boys pinning me down trying to rip open my shirt to see my breasts.

I fear for my daughter. I hope she takes after my father's family, flat chested.

We need to educate all our children, what is acceptable behaviour. And to come to us, as their parents should ANYTHING happen.

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

Car seat

No idea which car seat to get next. Please hit me with your recommendations, 1year+ (preferably rear facing or 360). Thank you 🫶🏻

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.