Just venting

Life is so crazy. I just had a baby in May and found out I’m pregnant again. Everyone has given their advice that I shouldn’t go through with my pregnancy. Here’s the thing…last year before I had my son…I was a chef, I wasn’t exactly balling but I was financially comfortable and things were okay. But then I had my son…I had a car accident hurt my back and head pretty seriously and now I see about 6 doctors, I had to switch careers and my job keeps threatening me due to me having to go to the doctor, physical therapy and care for my son. Plus I caught my significant other texting a server at his job and he continues to do so after he stayed the night at her house. He even sent her pictures of my child pretending like he’s such a good dad and was talking about us. She’s always texting him can he sneak away from us and such. He also drinks excessively and leaves me at home to take care of the baby, his 10 year old daughter and expects me to do everything…cook, clean, pick up after him and the kids. He’s 35 and still trying to go out to bar’s and act like a teenager. And yes I realize this is a crap situation but financially I’m not set to leave yet. And even so….i was never supposed to have kids…it took me 10 years to have my son. It was a miracle and I don’t feel like aborting this baby is the right move for me. I’m going to school to start a new career in cybersecurity. I know it will be extremely hard in the short term but in the long term I know I can do it and build a good life for us. I just don’t have a support system and it just feels like everyone is looking down on me. Ironically the dad is the only one who doesn’t think I should get an abortion. He keeps saying he slipped up with ol girl because he was mad and he doesn’t want to lose his family. 🙄 I don’t believe that nonsense for a second but I did put 6 years into this relationship and it’s harder to detangle as disappointed as I am in him. And when he’s not drinking….he’s a really good dad. But he’s just an addict and nobody can make him go to rehab. I’m just trying to get to the point where I can get my own place and it will just be me and my babies. Life is so hard right now because I have to take care of people old enough to help but don’t and babies entirely on my own. I can’t help feeling like I’ll do better on my own. I don’t hate him and I don’t want to keep our kids away from him. I just don’t want this relationship or this nonsense anymore. I have 3 herniated discs and 2 torn ones, I need injections in my spine and neck, I’m undergoing physical therapy on my neck, head and back , I have a tilted pelvis and I’m pregnant with a 5 month old baby. Cleaning up after people, hauling trash downstairs, constantly cooking, doing laundry, plus working full time….I could just use some help. But all I got is a 35 year old party boy and a 10 year old that stares at me as I clean around her. 🙄 But if I don’t clean and let them just lie amongst their own filth….i get told I’m a bad woman and also.. I hate things being dirty. Anyways….sorry for the story I needed to get that out of my head.

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.