Anyone else nursery worker kiss their children on the cheek

I’m actually furious about it. I literally dropped him off 30 minutes ago and I’m about to go pick him up. I called them to let them know I don’t like it but I hate the idea that I even have to do that

She probably didn’t even realise what she did.

isn’t that even worse?

That's absolutely not OK. There's a professional boundary and she certainly crossed that.

I completely agree. I’m going to go and pick him up. I’m so upset because why would anyone even do that😭

My sons nursery workers do this and my son hugs and cuddles them back (I'm sure he kisses their cheeks too). Yes I was slightly shocked at first because I wasn't sure they were allowed to, but I'm absolutely fine with it because they look after him all day every day and have a beautiful bond with him. I don't think there is anything inappropriate with greeting someone with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, especially a child. Everyone has different boundaries for their children and if you aren't comfortable with it you should definitely make this clear.

So if you child (god forbid) contracts oral herpes from them you wouldn’t mind? Because there’s a very high chance an adult has it. This is why people don’t want others kissing their children

Its a fair point, but my child could also contract it from any family member I have that it may be dormant. I think you have to do what you feels best.

My little girl gives them no choice, she’s kissing everyone atm

same as my little boy and he hugs and kisses his friends at nursery, I can't stop him doing that to everybody.

that’s another why people don’t allow it from their family either. It’s awful on children

but that is such an important moment to teach consent to other children. We don’t just go up to people and kiss them. Just as we teach them to say “I want x” or “can I play” I teach my son to say “can I have a hug” or whatever. It’s not okay to just let them do that. You can always teach them not to. There’s a lot of age appropriate books on consent

My son is 3, he doesn't need to get consent to hug someone, that's ridiculous. You are taking things too far.

I’ve worked in nurseries my whole life and I’ve never kissed a child anywhere (except my own children).

I don’t think it’s necessary. You can show affection through hugs, high fives and words, i don’t feel the need to kiss them. I’ve never been in a position where a child asked me for a kiss but if they did I would probably blow them a kiss.

Yes he does. Teaching consent to kids is important. So if someone hugged and kissed your son and he didn’t like it would you let that continue? No you wouldn’t. I would hope you would teach him the importance of saying he doesn’t like it or having someone ask. Here are books I got for my son:

I thought this would be the norm but apparently not. When I picked him up I asked if this is something they usually do and the lady said no but perhaps the lady who did it didn’t even realise. That’s actually much worse because how many times has she done it before. I’m actually so disgusted. I don’t feel like they were apologetic enough

Of course I teach my son boundaries, consent, discipline and protect him. However I'm not going to teach my son he needs to ask for a hug at 3 years old. The same way as an adult, I wouldn't ask my family and friends if I can hug them.. Bizarre - and I've never has an adult ask if they can hug me.

I work within a nursery and we are not allowed to kiss the children.

I mean I understand why you are upset but I definitely think you are overreacting. I agree that it’s not okay for them to kiss your child but I feel like making this clear to them so it doesn’t happen again would have been sufficient. We are all only human, she made a mistake and I’m sure she won’t do it again!

Depending on how much your child is in their care. My daughter developed an amazing bond with her nursery worker so I wouldn’t mind hugs and kisses as she basically became family. If it were a worker I was unfamiliar with it’d be different. But as humans we grow attachments to those we spend time with. We all have bursts of affection and although yes you have to teach boundaries we should also accept it’s natural to show affection.
I agree with Tash, I do think you’re over reacting. I think in a world full of hate and war why let love and affection ruin your day?!

There’s a limit, though like others have said it depends on how well and how big their bond is! But still wouldn’t make that okay! I used to work in a nursery and there was a little girl. Her parents didn’t mind me hugging her etc but I would never kiss them! One staff member in fact got sacked for kissing the babies! It’s not okay and I would totally feel the same way as you in this situation!

I think speak to them. Let them know you’re uncomfortable. Maybe it was just an honest mistake and she’ll know for next time.

If this carries on after you’ve spoken to them, then you’re most definitely allowed to be super angry

okay so what if he gets oral herpes. Would it be an overreaction then? Because he would have that for life and who knows how sick he will become.

because consent and health matters to me. Some people don’t even let their family members kiss their children so everyone has different standards. Mine is to ensure I do not put my child at risk at any point. If everyone else is comfortable with that then so be it

Wow. Do the staff member do it excessively and that’s why she was fired. I’m honestly so upset that I even had to say anything. It feels like such standard practice to not kiss someone else’s child. He’s only been there 2 months and I don’t even know the lady’s name!! That’s insane that I don’t know the name of someone who kissed my child. I don’t ever want to take him back because it feels like such a huge and massive violation. Especially because I’m very big on asking my son if I can give him a kiss or hug. So to watch someone just grab him and do that is insane to me

but how will I know😭 it happened during drop off

It was more the fact she thought she knew everything. I even had an argument with her when my little boy attended with me after maternity and she was basically lied about something and then telling me how to parent my own child. The kissing the children was the cherry on the cake.
I definitely don’t blame you for not wanting to take him back. I would honestly write them an email stating how you’re flabbergasted by what you saw and they can look into that further as people shouldn’t be doing that. And like you say even worse when you don’t even know that member of staff especially in the 2 months your little boy has been going! I would do what you think is right. If that means pull him out and find a better nursery then do so. They need to know what their staff are doing

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩RED FLAGS red flags fucking everywhere in the comments 1. I could understand maybe a nanny or a sitter .. they have a bond my little one needed alittle comfort .. okay .. still going to pull her aside and tell her let’s not make it a thing 2. We get consent in this family … my daughter isn’t a hugger it’s not her vibe therefore YES everyone EVERYONE including me asks for a hug or a kiss .. shes allowed to say no .. we don’t guilt trip into physical touch what a weird ass fucking thing to model for your child .. to be so obtuse to completely ignore the fact you as an adult can read cues… this isn’t even about whether the child gave consent.. it’s the fact THE MOTHER assessed the risk and deemed it unsafe . How many other fucking children is she kissing ? Then to kiss mine … you let you child think it’s okay to touch up on everyone and the next breath wonder why you’re household is always sick …. No it’s not normal behavior

At the end of the day, we all parent how we feel fit. You’ve asked our opinions and we have given it. To suggest health doesn’t matter to some of us is a bit harsh. We of course care about the health of our children. We all come from different places and cultures also so need to respect it that standards may be different rather than judging.
If you’re upset say something. There’s no point in worrying everytime your child is in their care as that defeats the point of them going.