Islamic Marriage advice

I haven't started my counselling yet but due to start soon. I've started self help and am trying to emotionally detach. It's not easy. And it's also not as black and white as simply leaving. I just want to get some professional Islamic advice for now. My husband is broken mentally and emotionally. That does not mean he can't change, when he decides to do that. I cannot force him to change overnight but I can control my own actions. I just need some Islamic guidance at the moment.

I'm so sorry sis, I don't have a recommendation for you but I'm here just to say it's commendable of you to keep trying and recognise the issues that you both have/had. Praying it works out for your family 💕

Salam sis, I hate that a lot of women including myself are going through the same thing. My husband and I have had many ups and downs but everytime we made it work especially now with a 12month old. This time round it’s been different, he doesn’t communicate, he’s changed his password on his phone. He takes walks every night, has lost weight, goes out more with his friends. And I’ve just had to accept this “new” him. I’m all for healthier lifestyles but he doesn’t feel like my husband anymore. We took a short break in July and we got back together with expectations laid out. I truly believe I lived up to them but he never did. Sometimes I wished he would just cheat on me so I could leave without those doubts. But I know he’s not, he just assumes that I’m always looking for problems (the reason why he doesn’t want me going through his phone, silly excuse I know) when I only want to communicate with him.

Continuing…
I drain his energy, I’m asking for too much romance when in reality I’m asking for the bare minimum.

Have you asked for guidance from family members? Other married couples who can help influence you both for the better?

thank you so much and jzk for your comment and duas xxx

salaam sis. Yes I've asked friends who are married with long term relationships and kids and some with no kid yet for advice but tbh every situation is different..I should have mentioned in my post that there has been months of substance abuse (🌿) which he is now on his way to giving up. I actually contacted women's aid for some support this morning .this doesn't mean I'm going to leave him but it means that I can have some coping mechanisms in place that a professional can guide me on. I also should have mentioned that I've just been diagnosed with ADHD and this has also taken a toll on my relationship. I know my relationship is not healthy but I pray that Allah guides us both to make it work better..I will also keep you in my duas. May Allah strengthen your marriage and bring peace and harmony to you both ameen 🤲🏻💕