My fiancé told me he finds my sister attractive
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She just turned 20 in October 😵💫
Your feelings are definitely valid! Not every thought needs to be voiced out loud. Especially ones like that and especially to your partner. I would be furious. It’s a huge red flag and if I were you, I’d probably break off the engagement.
How long have you guys been together? He’s probably fancied her for a long time. Personally, it would be hard for me to erase that out of my memory and I would be bothered. So, it’s a no dawg to that man.
To add: He has made comments before on how she would look good in certain things, always is picking on her, notices her outfits, texts her, asks her what her type is over and over but she’s my sister and our kids aunt so I brush things off now I’m having a moment where I’m like okay got it, everything makes sense now!
He should've kept his mouth shut wth!!! How did he even bring this up? Wow
We have been together 8 years.
How did he bring this up? Like how did the conversation about it even started. In what demeanor would you say he said it?Casually or ...
This is something he shouldn’t allow himself to indulge even to the point of making any comment. Sounds to me like he may have boundary issues, I know plenty of respectable guys that on this topic would never say anything and probably avoid your sister - or at the most would say and enact that sure, she’s an attractive woman, but she’s my sister in law. Period.
I was literally unloading the dishwasher and he told me he has something he wants to tell me but could never tell me because it would hurt my feelings. After 45 min he told me he finds somebody I know super attractive and I was laughing saying omg who thinking it was his friends wife or our neighbor then he says he wouldn’t mind seeing her naked and she has a nice body and I was like uhhh okay who is it he told me it was somebody in my family I never would of thought it was my little sister… I was thinking my aunt or a cousin. I literally wanted to puke
That’s weird…like why is he thinking on it that much…this is a big deal actually because if he’s like that with her, he’ll be like that with anyone. It’s one thing to admit he finds her attractive if asked…but whole other issue to be thinking about her, needing to bring it up? Then be texting her and involving himself too much…..like is he leaving a door open for a reason? 🚩
Girl, leave that man. You’re only human and this is gonna cause resentment towards your sister who seems innocent in all of this. This is not someone i would trust around any female and I doubt therapy would cure this. He seems to lack common sense as well coz who the hell finds it comfortable to say such to their fiancée.
I hope you guys don’t have a daughter.
Your feelings are 100% valid. You’re not reading deep into it. You’re seeing it clear as day. This is definitely something that can’t be ignored and is obviously bothering you a great deal since you made the post. I’m so sorry he has said all of this to you. Honestly… I would be very tempted to leave. Sounds to me like y’all need to have a huge talk regardless though!
I’d be putting him in the bin personally 😬
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I would feel very uncomfortable him being around my sister after those unprompted comments. If you’ve been together for 8 years so he’s known your sister since she was 12 and is now speaking about her in a sexual way. Very inappropriate and creepy. And disrespectful to you but also wouldn’t trust him to be around my sister Incase he tried to be inappropriate with her and make her uncomfortable. Hmm. Very odd behaviour.
He gotta go … looking at your sister like that and she just turned 20 ain’t no telling how long that’s been going on and on top of it they be alone together …. Gotta go
@Kasey We do 🤢 and I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant with a baby girl.
Oh no! This is weird and I would have had a whole problem. First of all he suppose to be looking at her like that’s his sibling as well. Idk I would have blew up looking at my younger sister. Not only are you being creepy looking at another woman but my little sister describing how you want to see her naked and all. Smh
Yuck, your feelings are definitely valid. That’s so inappropriate.
Ladies THANK YOU. He was saying because were sisters it’s perfectly normal for him to think like this. He has known her since she was 12 years old. We live 15 minutes away from her and see her ALL the time 😅 He has said some things before like asking for her to send a picture of a bruise she had (the bruise was on her butt or close to it) telling me he could see my sisters under boob when she was lifting things at our house. My sister also told me one time when he drove her home he was asking her what her type was over and over and he said “well arnt you going to ask me what my type is?” She says me, my name and he goes actually no somebody who dresses more like you, and has more of your personality ….. when my sister told me that I was like wtf what were his intentions on saying that?! My head is spinning
Wow after reading all of your comments I would 100% leave. Im so sorry you’re dealing with this. It is NOT “perfectly normal” to think like that. Nor is it perfectly normal to ACT like that!
I was reading and was getting so upset! Sorry you are experiencing that! I have a sister that I think is more attractive then me. She definitely is more social and styles herself, does her makeup, etc. but I did ask a couple times to my husband and he literally straight up says no. He also cares about personality and me and him just click. She’s also super loud and obnoxious too. If I were you, I definitely wouldn’t be okay and would call him out. Both of them actually.
To be in your life for 8 years and watch your little sister grow up and NOT view her as his own little sister but as a woman that he has a crush on is extremely disturbing and screams predatory vibes. This is NOT normal. Do not allow him to gaslight you into thinking it is. I'm sure if you have an honest conversation with your sister, she's probably been uncomfortable for a long while. Because you have daughters, please think twice about keeping this person in your life. I would definitely recommend therapy for you. You have done nothing wrong. You just put your trust in an untrustworthy person.
@Anjali I needed to hear this. Thank you so much
I’ve talked to him all night about it and it keeps saying he doesn’t want to see her naked, he wouldn’t go out of his way to see but yet he wouldn’t mind seeing her naked and does find her attractive within the last year. I told him the issue is he should mind! Like this is like his little sister! Somebody we literally see once a week.
If he doesn’t get it, and is making excuses then that’s on him. He’s telling you who he is. I’d run now that he’s shared that w you bc family comes first and I’d be uncomfortable if one of my sisters bf or fiancés looked at me some way, being the younger sister. It’s never okay and even if you get him to take it back or an apology, will you ever be able to trust him again? If he’s thinking that about your sister-who’s he’s seen grow up- what’s to stop him from seeing other women like that and thinking it’s okay. Plus he had the audacity to say you weren’t his type?? lol boy bye good luck finding whatever your type is. That would literally have been enough for me to hear. He’s a small minded man and you deserve better and someone you can trust around your little sister and your little girls. Protect them at all costs. There’s plenty of men that wouldn’t even think about crossing that line. Easily. He needs professional help
Wow☹️, Firstly, how old is your sister? Not that it matters or makes it any better but I hope she is not underaged. Secondly, I hate men who have no filter or control to know what’s appropriate or not coz this is definitely crossing boundaries. The only positive thing is that at least he said it out loud. Now you know what kinda person you’re dealing with. I mean, who says shit like that about one’s sister. To me, this is a red flag.