Correct me if I’m wrong

So I’m 4 weeks PP. since the birth I have been staying with my mother for about 3 weeks so I can have help with the baby and also get looked after. My sister and my mum did everything, from night feeds, nappy changes, laundry, cooking. Everything.

I’m also married and came back to my house last week. My mother in law came too to help out. What’s funny is that she came with food. And she said “I came with food for MYSELF because I didn’t want to stress you”

And I just paused… did she expect me to make her a feast everyday? Because what she came with were just Nigerian dishes. And also she’s not going to cook and help us with food? Like?

We order food since I’m super tired and still in pain from having a CS and she still wants us to order for her.

Okay so now my mum made food for me and dropped it off, she then asks me to tell my mum to bring her garri to to eat?? And now I’ve just come to the fridge just to see that one of the soups my mum brought has been eaten. And it was eaten by her. (My husband doesn’t eat Nigerian soups). I’m just so confused and don’t know if I’m really in the wrong here? Am I wrong for not cooking for my Nigerian mother in law or is she wrong for not cooking for us, plus eating the food my mum made for me.

She’s very helpful other than that, she does the night feeds and is really nice. Just confused about the food thing. I know Africans have different expectations and maybe she expects me to be catering to her. She knows I’m in pain and she knows I’m tired. I’m also breastfeeding so she knows I should be eating a lot. I just wonder because she said she brought food so I’m not stressed meaning she did expect me to cook.

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My mum is Nigerian she didn’t let me lift a finger when she stayed at mine to help out I think that’s the whole point. Although you’re triggered best thing might be to talk to your husband and let his mum know you’d really appreciate her help with cooking/cleaning etc as you’re still recovering just to keep tension to a minimum and your stress levels down xx

exactly, I thought that was the whole point too. She’s so helpful at night but then that’s about it. I could’ve stayed longer with my own mother who actually looked after me properly… but my MIL insisted on coming for 2 weeks. my husband’s solution is to just keep ordering food but that’s so expensive and not helpful as she also wants us to order for her, on top of the food she brought for herself and the food she ate that my mum brought for me😅. I’m just like wow

I do think that’s out of order. I don’t think ordering food for two weeks is a good solution that’s so expensive especially when you’ve just had a baby. Do you think if he asks her to help more she’d be willing? Cos it’s a lot and quite inconsiderate eating what your mum prepared for you and paying for all her meals too x

so I caved in. I decided to cook today and she brought her boyfriend over to eat as well. She said she was going to help but ended up just watching tv and doing nothing. It’s so out of order and what’s funny is she keeps on saying “let’s see how your food will be, you know you don’t cook much just order”

I’m just like wtf? I also have to clean the house yesterday spent hours because if I don’t do it, no one will and all she kept on saying was “watch your back, don’t bend too much” - BUT THEN WHY WONT YOU HELP??

She’s actually a nice person and very helpful at night but I just want her to go😭

in our community

Is my child delayed ?

Recently had parent evening for my child (4 in June) and the teacher said she is not where she should be she does not know her shapes, letters or numbers.

My child is able to show me where shapes are on a poster for example if I said find the rhombus she would find it however if I i said name it she couldn’t,

On a number line if I said “find number 4 she would find it” but she is not able to count to 4 correctly but she could show on her hands 80% of the time.

She can recognise letters around 15 correctly but will not say the alphabet.

The teacher also mentioned she doesn’t hold a pen correctly but I have seen her hold a pen with pincer grip and use them in both hands correctly.

I’ll post an image of what educational based supplies we have in the Comments please tell me if we can add anything 🙂

Am I tripping 🤔

My friend wants me to watch her daughter 3 days a week 430 to 630 I told her I need $20 every time I watch her because I have 5 kids I have health problems am I wrong ? She saying she don't got it so I feel like I shouldn't do it then is that bad?

Advice?

I don’t feel like a good mom. I’m a mom but I don’t feel as present as I need to be. I have an addiction to my phone ever since my son passed. Growing up it’s how I distracted myself and it’s just gotten worse. I use to be on my phone every now and then before but now it’s constant almost. I still play with my toddler but I get bored easily and I don’t look forward to doing stuff. I’m a couch potato who scrolls. I hate it. I recognize it and I hate it. I don’t go out anymore unless needed besides outback. I don’t bake desserts anymore. I feel lazy. Yes I have a therapist but I never say what I need to when I’m there and I have to bring my toddler so it just doesn’t work out how I imagine.

I’m trying to be the best mom I can be but I struggle. I struggle so hard and at this point I am disappointed in myself because I imagined so much for our life and I can’t even be the mom I need to be. Even my mom who lived in the living room and didn’t play with us at least was a present mom. I checked out. I hate it.

honestly 🫤

i keep coming up with excuses for potty training my 3 year old and i don’t know why
i do it for like a day or two and end up putting her back in nappies and I know i need to and she need to be potty trained and I know i’m not helping her i literally know all of it but i don’t know why i’m not doing it… my partner keeps telling me i need to do it over and over and he gets annoyed and i feel guilty but Why dont i do it!!😔idk why i cant just do it and stick to it i’m confusing her too just starting over and over again

Nothing can top Bluey, but...

What other shows do you watch with your kids? It doesn't have to be for very young children; they LOVE the movies Jaws and Jurassic Park. And i live the 90's entertainment from my youth. Shows like Wild Kratts and Stinky and Dirty hold their attention, but they need something new because when they search for shows themselves, they find the worst! The screen is rampant with brainrot, where are those hidden gems??

Just venting about an ignorant irresponsible husband!

I don’t know if it’s just me or if all husbands are like this, because my husband claims that all men are like him!

He doesn’t want to help with house chores, doesn’t do what’s asked of him, and only helps with the baby on his own terms and free time. Yet, whenever I get upset about something he does, he blames me for not asking for help. Honestly, I don’t even know if I want to ask for help anymore — it feels like such a mental load just to ask!

Usually, he’ll say things like, “Oh, I was about to iron my clothes,” or “I was about to eat,” or “I was about to sleep, I have an early day tomorrow.” You see where this goes…

Even when he does agree to help, he does things in a way that makes me want to just say, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself.” For example, if I ask him to sauté some veggies, he says, “Oh, we should try raw veggies sometime.” Or if I ask him to pass a fork, he says, “You should eat with your hands.”

At this point, I don’t even know if things will ever improve. Part of me feels like I might end up leaving, but I don’t want to take any extreme step right now because it would impact my baby.