Is my boyfriend/ baby dad not supporting?

Idk abt the rent situation bc I dnt feel like I know enough details but my family personally wouldn’t ask for rent money if we were in this situation cause that’s just how they are. &there’s a new baby now. Nice gesture but the bills would need to be paid wether he was there or not. Putting groceries in the house sounds more reasonable if he does eat out the kitchen. But on behalf of the not helping with baby, I’m going thru that currently and I completely feel your pain. My son is 5months now and I still do everything. He holds him sometimes once out the whole day. FaceTimes his mother and as soon as the call is over he puts him back down or tells me to get him. I honestly just deal with and in the end he’s the one missing out on the bond you make when they’re this small. Postpartum resentment is real so i try not stress abt it bc it’s already a lot on my plate. They won’t always b this small so tables WILL turn! Hang in there mama. It don’t get easier but YOU get stronger! 🙏🏾 bless!

they would but my dads said it’s gone up a third more since he stays here now 5 days out of the week. He’s paying his mom to stay at home but is not even there and I do feel guilty for my dad because he’s having to pay gas, electric and water for someone else to stay here when he didn’t have too before. I get you about the groceries!
Yeah that’s what he has done too.
I try not too but it’s at the point where I don’t want him around now because why did I chose to do this on my own basically when I didn’t ❤️

My husband hardly does anything! I feel like I have to make an excuse like oh can you take him while I grab something….
When he was born I had a c section and couldn’t move, and my hubby did everything for me, changed him burped him or just held him but after about a month he stopped!
When I started bottling feeding (we were always round his parents because his dad was dying so was easier) I tried to get him to feed his son but it didn’t happen often!
Or in the morning he used to got make the bottle while I did lo nappy, now he just moans and says I work all day!!
I mentally need support but I’m not getting it!
(I know his father died recently, 5 months ago, but I feel he’s shut me out)

I think as he is not living with you full time I can understand why he would think he doesn't have to pay rent as it seems he just visits and he might have to pay rent where he stays when he has work.

However he definitely has a moral obligation to pay for half of baby's stuff, not just nappies, but all the essentials. That's ridiculous. I'm sure a court would order child support even if you're together as a gouple so the advice he received is rubbish.

I ask my partner for approval before buying things so he has a say on budget but he knows I choose cheap things and normally is so overwhelmed with choice just tells me to choose what to buy and he will pay his share e.g. we did this with pram and cot and travelcot. But yours needs to pay something anyway

However if he wasn't there to register baby with you and you're not married then I assume he isn't on the birth certificate? If not then he has no right to the child and no obligation legally to pay for anything but consider if you want to add him or not.

There are some non essential items I may get for baby and not ask for partner to pay a share as i bought on impulse and didn't consult first but this is rare. I also ask him to pay a share of the bf support items including the silver cups, nipple shields creams nursing bras haaka and pumps as formula would still have been so so much more expensive over one year.

He also has to do at least half of the burping and nappies and rocking to sleep and playing when he is awake and not working... you should talk about this, maybe he isn't confident on how to do it? I ebf too and partner sleeps all night but on days off will get up at 6-8am to take LO for 1-3h so I can sleep in

aw bless you!! I hope you’re okay, you can always message me. Stay strong x

1. This is difficult as you don’t want to put him off staying over..
2. You need to go out for the full day with your family and leave baby with him so he is forced to work out how to be a father and not rely on others.
3. Wtf.. father should pay for at least half of the baby stuff and 100% of the baby stuff if you are not earning… should be ashamed of himself. Give him a baby shopping list every week and also ask him to go shopping for groceries for your parents at the same time.

I mean if this put him off from coming to see his son then that just proves something as he’s here 5 days a week and I know if I were to stay at his moms house the same amount she’d want money. I used to stay there a couple days a week and was told not to put the heating on when it was cold and if I was cold to go and sit in her bed with the heated blanket on. I never made any food when they weren’t there, even was they was I’d wait so I weren’t using the electric etc and we had to buy our own food when staying there so for him to expect my dad to do it just annoys me to be honest.
I honestly can’t trust him alone yet on his own and ive told him. It worries me sick as he can’t cope. I went out once for a good few hours and left bottles of expressed milk. He didn’t put him to nap, gave him milk instead, wasn’t in bed when I got back. If he cried he shakes his head and gets annoyed because he said he doesn’t know what to do and baby can’t settle with him.

he thinks every time he cries he’s hungry, doesn’t think of changing his nappy
3. I’ve not earned anything in over 3 months now. Just received a response from the government and they’ve accepted my claim so that should help soon but he knows this too. He got rollolp

Trying to understand. If he is that useless and a burden, I’m not sure why you bother having him around? If he doesn’t contribute in any way and you can’t see a way to fix it then let him know he’s not needed any more and apply for child maintenance 🤷‍♀️

because we’re supposed to be together, but both agree we’re not the best at the minute but also because he’s his dad and I feel guilty if he doesn’t see him. I have told him to come round less for a bit and see what happens as I don’t find it fair at all

It’s a two way street with a dad he has to understand they he should give the family more than he takes away

You’re supposed to be together because you want to be together or destined to be together?

I don’t feel like he’s thinking like that at the minute and it’s a shame. He’s constantly going on about how his parents never get to see ‘their grandchild’ well they know where I live but they’ve been 3 times in the 14 weeks he’s been born. He says it’s because I always say no to them coming but it’s because they want to come after 6:30/7 when little ones going to bed🙃

and because we were good until I got pregnant and then apparently he said I just changed and after my baby was born yes I do feel differently but I did still love him until he just hardly bothered with our son and just changed with the way he was. We just argue now and I feel like he doesn’t respect my views but I think he’s gone sour as he’s not on the birth certificate. He never came to register him and to be honest the way he is with him I don’t feel comfortable putting him on anymore. He doesn’t cope when I leave him for an hour or two☹️ I just don’t know what to do anymore it feels so toxic for the pair of us

You need to have standards for him and let him know he’s not meeting them and if if this doesn’t change he goes in the bin