I’ve recently noticed that I will come back from a couple-hours outing to my toddler being watched by my dad/mom, and her diaper will be so full of pee. Once or twice I’ve picked her up and she has had poop in there. I’ve brought it up to them, saying that it’s very important that they try to take her to the potty as she is learning, or at LEAST make sure she’s not sitting in pee for hours (which, let’s be fucking honest, I shouldn’t have to tell them to change her diaper). It’s very tough because other than them, I have no child care, and since they do it for free I obviously am grateful that they take her off my hands at all, I just feel like this is sooooo bare minimum when it comes to watching a child. Today she went to their house for about 4 hours, took a nap during that time, and returned with a super full diaper and ALL THE DIAPERS we sent her over there with were still in her backpack. Like maybe they took her to the potty so they didn’t have to use 1, I’ll give benefit of the doubt, but there was absolutely more than 1 pee in there when she got home. It’s so frustrating because I really don’t have any other options on anyone to watch her. I just don’t know how to make my point any more clear about it, and I’m mad I even have to. I want to say something like, don’t offer to watch my child if you can’t even wipe her butt. But I don’t want to be mean. Any ideas on how to approach this?
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You sure they really want to watch her? I’d be pretty offended if anyone left my baby like that especially due to it being a sanitary/hygienic issue

Have you asked them why they aren’t changing her nappy? You could approach it that way- see what they say and tell them you aren’t comfortable with them watching your child if they aren’t going to make sure she’s clean, as much as you appreciate the help. But it’s a basic care need for her to have her happy changed and you don’t want her sitting in her own pee for hours, you could even say it’s been giving her a rash by the time you get her home and changed. I agree you shouldn’t have to say this to them, just if you’re worried about having to find alternative childcare it could be a gentle way to approach it?
yes I hardly EVER ask them they only ever offer to watch her. It definitely does offend me.

I would say her Dr recommends to change her diaper every 3hrs. 😂 and then hand them a schedule and text them, hi!! Did she pee yet? How many diapers has she gone through?