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June 2024 Babies 🇬🇧

AITA for not telling her I am pregnant?

To give some context, I (F, 26), met a woman (F, 22) 4 years ago as we happened to live in the same student house. We both came from different countries and she was sharing a room with her long term boyfriend at the time, now ex.
We partied a bit together during the year but not a lot as she was working a lot to pay the bills (if I understood well, her bf had bad spending habits). He was honestly bad with her, making her clean the shared house on her bday, talking poorly to her, always gaming, telling her she wasn't smart and so on.
Covid started, eventually it was too much and she broke up (whilst living in the house). I offered her to stay in my room for a few days/weeks as she needed a place to say because he wouldn't move out. Another room was about to be free and she could move in it whenever it was free. She accepted and that's when we really bonded. We were stuck in this house and she was feeling really sad to have broken up with her highschool sweetheart. I did nothing much but comfort her, watch girly movies, talk and we organised her bday party, and other housemates bday parties during lockdown.
I eventually got accepted in a university a few hours from there and she was still in the middle of her degree so I left and she stayed.

She came to visit me after a month or so when lockdown rules were eased and over the weekend we played with her tinder and she got a date. She went on the date on her second and last day visiting, and I supervised from afar as she wasn't feeling 100% safe.

After that, we saw each other whenever we could, my husband (boyfriend of the time) started studying close to where she was living and I was often spending weekends at his, so I saw my friend a few times over the following year. But we were both working on top of studying so didn't have much free time.

I then moved in with my husband during another lockdown and studied from home. At that time she got into a relationship. We often had dinner the four of us, went to the Christmas market, had board games nights... Her boyfriend was very nice but I could see how my friend became to change. She changed her way of dressing up, she almost completely stopped partying, completely stopped drinking etc. At first, I didn't think anything of it, people evolve and that's great to see friends find themselves. But as time went by, I could see she wasn't happy with all the changes. To be honest, he was always there for her (it seemed at least). Eventually, I started seeing his real face, we took a day trip and he was really mean with her and controlling. I asked her if everything was okay and she told me she was trying her best to save their relationship but it was not great at the moment.
He broke up with her cause she wasn't changing for him or something (they had been together 1.5 years). She was destroyed and I tried to comfort her as much as could. Unfortunately, my husband and I just had been through a miscarriage (before her bday and still got to the bday party to see her) and I honestly was struggling to find the mental space to be there for anyone and felt very lonely. To add on top of that I am doing a PhD and I was really struggling with it at the time. She visited me loads of time after they broke up.
She finished her degree and started working and she came twice a month or so. It was great to be fair, it was really nice having her around. Sometimes she was still sad about the break up and I would drive in the night to comfort her, or she would stay at our place to have company. But she would also come over and even though we didn't speak much of the miscarriage, mostly about her breakup and my PhD, it was nice seeing her often.
A few months after, we had another miscarriage but this time we had kept the pregnancy a secret and when I told her about it, I felt like she wasn't really here for me. She was sort of, but not as much as I would have expected I guess.
As my husband and I had our civil marriage, she and my husband's best friend were our witnesses. She knew she wouldn't be the witness for the religious ceremony the next year, but that she would be a bridesmaid and she was happy to be a bridesmaid.
Eventually my husband's best friend started hanging out with us a lot more (he had had a crush on her for years but never acted on it because she had her boyfriend, and her ex before that).
The four of us were having loads of fun, it felt like having a little family abroad.
After a few months, they started dating. My husband and I were made the middlemen, but in all honesty we didn't mind, if our friends were happy together, we were happy too.
They dated, she put a stop to it and told me it just wasn't like that with him. I told her she cannot force this kind of things but should be honest with him. They talked, he understood. We then saw each other as a group several times. On New Year's Eve we drank quite a lot, and she kissed him. As she was staying over she told me everything and she was like, I don't know why I did that, he his going to have his hopes up. Once again, I told her, well you knew he was into you, not sure that was your best move if you didn't think any of it, but just be honest with him.
But after that, they saw each other just the two of them and ended up kissing again. She then had to go back to her country for a few weeks and asked him to keep her pet. He agreed. When she came back, after a few days, he brought the pet back and she told him this wasn't working and they should just be friends.
After being into her for literally years, my husband's bff was really sad and we tried to be there for him in the first place.
Also, she said that lately she had been feeling homesick and sad, but there wasn't much we could do about it except hanging out with her, which was becoming difficult with the whole situation.
I went to have coffee with her a few weeks after this whole thing had happened and she told me she would be mad if he started dating someone. I told her that wasn't her place and that she actually hurt him. She said she felt sorry about it. We both went home that day, not knowing we wouldn't see each other for months after that.
She had a few conversations with him, but they weren't telling us as much, which we respected. My husband bff was hanging out with us very often. And every time I invited her to do something just her and I she was working or she would say yes and then be 4h late, or cancel last minute. Bear in mind that she was still planned to be in my bridal party a couple months after. In the summer, I found out she had a bf and asked her about him. She didn't give me any details and just said it was recent. She then stopped answering my texts when I was asking how she was.
Around the same time, my sister ODed (survived) and was not doing well at all so I only cared about being there for my family and trying to find her some medical care and so on. So I didn't text my friend at all that month.
As we approached the wedding ceremony, she texted me to confirm the date, time and location (that was in the invitation I made her and never got to give her as I didn't see her for months before the wedding, important detail, the ceremony was in my home country an hour and a half away flight from where we live). She unfortunately couldn't make the bachelorette party as she was working but texted me a nice message telling me to have a great time.
For the wedding, I had asked my bridesmaids to pick their own outfit in sage green or a nice green if they couldn't find. I didn't care as long as they felt good in their outfit and we were in 4 different countries so shopping for them together wasn't an option. 1/5