Should I be upset?

I know Christmas is about giving and not receiving. And it’s not all about the gifts. But this is my second Christmas with my boyfriend and he waits till the last minute to get me a gift. He will ask ahead of time some things that I may want. So I tell him , but he doesn’t decide to get me anything until literally Christmas Eve.. and at the point there is not much left when I’ve already stressed about what I’m gonna get him and put a lot of thought into it. Just for me to end up getting a last minute gift that I pretend to be happy about. It more of this makes me feel less important I guess…. Idk I’m trying to not sound like a brat but It kind of sucks and idk how to tell him

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I would tell him or the following year he would get a hammer

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right! I’m just frustrated and I got a gift that was rushed and I didn’t really like because it was last minute like “ let me just grab something so I can say I got her something “

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My partner got me something for the first 2 years we have been together 7 years after them 2 years I haven't had 1 thing off him and this year I said to him if he doesn't get me something even if its just a pack of chocolates so I have something to open I'm not giving him his

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hey I would be pissed also. I would be like if you can’t think of me I definitely won’t be thinking of your ass and grab a hammer and throw it under the tree not wrapped

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I would be thinking long and hard about staying. Cause marriage you won’t get shit if he does this as a boyfriend

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right! Cause I have anxiety lol so I over plan and put a lot of thought into the gifts I got him and made sure that I ordered it ahead of time so it would be here in time for Christmas. And he loves his gift and mine was like like…. “ oh u know absolutely nothing about me”

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I’m like your boyfriend - I’m a last minute shopper and it pisses my husband off because he ends up with something he ultimately doesn’t want or need. In my defense though, if there is something my husband wants/needs he will get it himself so I’m faced with the question of what do you get someone who has everything? It’s not that I don’t care about him, he just makes it so damn difficult for me. I want to gift him something he would love, but he needs to stop shopping for himself! 😉

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I understand your hurt feelings. It's hard when we put so much thought into our gifts for others and then don't get the same effort back.

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I usually have the same treatment something rushed no thought tacky or rubbish, this year iv got nothing not one thing coz he spent all his money when we went to see his mum on drink for them, I don't drink don't see the point,
Iv worked hard this year trying to get him and the kids stuff, food and sort the house for my 11 year to kick off earlier at her brother who's 4 for no reason so I got all the mouth, my four year old to act like a gremlin and thier dad to have a go at me coz I took too long wrapping thier gifts and he had to watch them so they didn't kill each other then to try and tell me what to do, get off my phone, go to bed etc like he's my dad I'm so done with Xmas at this point I'm looking at all thier presents thinking of throwing them out the window tbh

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yeah but your married. Big difference. This guy will never change as a husband it will just get worse. She will do for him and he won’t ever do for her.

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yeah I think that’s the most important hurt about I could care less if the gift was .50 if he put thought into it that’s all I care about

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I’m so sorry! I sounds like you need a mommy break for Christmas

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true…. So true makes me feel like I’m settling for less some I’m not alone 😏

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@Tiauna im getting use to the kids being dicks the four year old has adhd the other has about five different possible things they need to pin point what one so in a way they can't help all of it, but I just want a thanks or a passing thought you know, even a hay mum u want a drink or snack while ur doing all our shit would of been nice lol I mean they r old enough to offer, but nope I got called names then she went to bed and the boy dropped about 20 mins ago coz I turned the hall light off so he wouldn't leave his room because he wouldn't sleep so I give up lol

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@Tiauna tell him how u feel now though coz once u allow it once they keep going believe me and after a few years they will just think it's OK doesn't matter what you say that's why I'm here with my kids dad

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My husbands mom bought me gifts when we were dating now I buy my own gift and put it from him I get what I want and he doesn’t worry about it ( he also works 12-16 hour shifts 5-7 days a week)

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exactly. I'm the same.

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This year I did last minute shopping due to baby and felt overwhelmed. I kept putting it off. Maybe he needs help. My plan next year is to do my christmas list on Halloween and thanksgiving go purchase them like its a planned event in my calendar. Everything in general 2 months in advance- birthdays, holidays.

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but he asks and she tells him things and still doesn’t do it

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I would tell him how it makes you feel and that it’s really important to you.

But honestly, I don’t see it as a big deal he’s probably just a disorganised person and that’s how he is in a lot of areas of life rather than it being a reflection of how much he cares about you.
I don’t mean to undermine how you feel at all but I think it’s important to not sweat the small stuff. If he’s an excellent partner in so many other ways I’d focus on those.

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We’ve had a really rough time past year. Multiple miscarriages to lead into this pregnancy after being told we wouldn’t be able to conceive without a donor egg.

Now my husbands mum is dying.

He’s never been that proactive with presents and we have a fairly laid back approach. He didn’t propose with a ring and it was a year before we got round to getting one.

I know he hasn’t bought me anything for Xmas. I’m a little disappointed but I’m not going to lose sleep over it. I even gave him a card from a pack of cards so he could write something to me.

But we are together with our family who have all had a hard year. I’ve worked so many xmas’s I’m just grateful that we can be together whilst I rub my baby bump.

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yeah I just talked to him about it and it almost caused a big fight I got called ungrateful and everything 😢

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that part! Why ask? And then he asked me to be honest if I liked the gifts he got me and I told him in the most respectful way that it’s not about what he gets but I would Love if I was t last on the list and he put thought into it . It just sucks when u out ur all into a person and get the bare minimum…..

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I don’t look as it as “ small “ he could have gotten be a card and wrote me a poem . I want thought into it just like I did and he asked for things for Christmas and I was pro active and got what he wanted. Again not tryna sound ungrateful and material things mean nothing to me but it’s just proving how I’m feeling with underlying things in our relationship. Where I feel I go above and beyond for someone just to get the bare minimum. You don’t forget things that are important to you and idk that’s just how I’m looking at it.

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@Tiauna I got the same one year he got me perfume which i was greatful for but because he said it was 50 quid i said he got done because i know you can get it for 30, we haven't got a lot of money so I don't mind if it's cheaper I even told him where to get it cheap but I was ungrateful because he got it on Xmas eve and it cost alot. So I get you at the frustration, i said this year I don't mind not having anything to open just get the kids something but it went on drink for his mum and him so that's why I was pissed off, I don't think ur ungrateful for wanting something with meaning at all, i say just get him something random next year and see how he reacts if he doesn't care then continue putting in the same effort he does

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This was happening with my bf, but this year I made a list of what I would like and even sent him direct links to them on Amazon lol. I got most of the things on my list, so it worked! He did complain about the cost of one thing being $150. I told him when I sent him the link it was on sale for $100 so the extra he had to pay was his tax for procrastinating on buying it lol

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