By being together just for the kids, is there full communication of that? Civilness between each other? A friendship even?
I understand most who stay together for the kids have an unhealthy trauma bond and/or it’s just an entire mess of a situation and totally not worth it for the kids sake. I’m specifically asking and wondering if anyone has a healthy version of this dynamic and could offer insight and advice.
My husband and I made it clear we would keep working on us and trying to have a healthy marriage but it seems we have many indifferences. We have a great friendship outside of our marriage and had one for several months before we pursued dating. We also made it clear if it didn’t work out, we would still live with each other and raise our kids together.
We took a break before and lived in separate households and our kids (still really young) acted completely out of character and ultimately made it clear that it was because they wanted mommy and daddy in their everyday life not split up through the week. I know I couldn’t do it to them again but I also know the connection we have is tarnished from our problems… many things I can’t get over and probably likewise with him. I know I gave it my all and part of me despises him but he is a great father and friend.
I think I could make it work at least until they are older and can understand why mommy and daddy went separate ways. It was soo much harder being apart seeing our 3 year old act out and confused. Being he brought up what I was already thinking, that we stay civil and live together for them it gives me the feeling it could work.
I rambled so much but does anyone in this dynamic have a positive story or advice?
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No advice as I just asked my husband for a separation last night… but I definitely wish we could do the happy friendship loving together dynamic.
It’s devastating thinking about sharing custody (I never want to not have my son with me) and I think it would hurt my husband too but also he likes his “free” time more than me and I think would end up liking having time away from babe.
I work from home and my husband is disabled so acts as a SAHD. So bubs literally sees us both all day everyday, I’d hate to take that away from him.