Domestic violence

I am a bit ashamed to talk about it but my partner has been verbaly and physicaly violent toward me time to time since our baby is born.
Today, he crossed another line and punched me in the face in front of our daughter.. Until now, I wanted to preserve my daughter from a separarion but after seing how scared she looked when her dad punched me, I realised I was propably in the wrong from the begining...
I am seriously thinking of living my partner but I do not know how to start: I can not afford to rent a house on my own. My family is not aware of the situation because I am ashamed and scared of his reaction if he learned I talked about it..
Please can anyone help me?! I really want to escape this shit situation but I do not know how to do it. I feel so lost and confused.. A bit of moral suprt will be very welcome
Thank you!

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Please please reach out; I currently am in the same situation!

You can apply for help , im a single mum with two renting (my littlest is 4 months so im not currently working, but get UC to help) including housing benefit. Its definitely doable xx

Also a refuge will take you and they can provide so much support for you and children, until you find somewhere permanent. Reach out to a charity like Solace or Refuge in the UK, they can even remove him from the home sometimes.
Definitely need to get out, but maybe don’t tell him that you are going, this is assault and a crime, but also the fact your daughter saw means they will class it as child abuse (in UK) also.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, I hope you can get help and leave, you have nothing to be ashamed of- none of this is your fault. Please tell your family and friends and get help. I’m sorry I don’t know how else to help you, but you deserve better than someone who hits you and you are worthy of so much more x

Get in touch with women's aid or sisters pace. They will direct you to rehousing

Thank you for all your kind messages. It's really nice to see some nice people are willing to help!

I’m so sorry to read about this. I hope you do reach out and find help. Using a DV helpline may help guide you in the right direction. If you need someone to talk to please reach out. 🤗

Life charity is amazing. They housed me.

Hey love if you live in Bromley here’s the emergency homeless helpline. Tell them you’re a victim of domestic violence and you’re scared for your life. They’ll find you a place to stay only on one condition that you don’t tell your child’s dad your whereabouts.
Please do what’s right for you and your little girl I really feel for you as this was once me in the past 😔.

Emergency number: 0300 303 8671

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. I’ve been there many years ago. And while leaving was hard and disruptive, staying would have been worse.

I would advise you to report it to the police. I know this feels intimidating but they are well trained in this now, they are able to protect you with restraining orders, it’s helpful to have it on record, and they can also put you in touch with many support agencies. They understand why you wouldn’t report it immediately so it’s not too late. It’s also important to know that the risk of violence is increased when you try to leave, so the police can prevent that.

This is more common than you would think and you are not alone. So many women face this and they feel somehow responsible and ashamed and so they don’t tell anyone. However once a pattern of violence is established it will repeat and you and your child aren’t safe. Remember that afterwards he might feel bad and double down on being kind but it’s part of the pattern.

Bromley and Croydon Women’s Aid

+ CALL our mainline on 020 8313 9303 to talk to our team (choose option 1 for support) Monday to Friday 9am – 4:30pm
+ EMAIL us at info@bcwa.org.uk
+ To get help outside our office hours, ring the FREE 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

I am so sorry to here this, I've been there too. Please anyone who is in this situation download tap sos app, its an emergency service app to use if you are unsafe from speaking and need help. Connects to all emergency services.

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I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

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My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
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When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

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go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

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