AITA for being mad that my MIL post pictures of my baby without asking?
So my my mother in law have always had issues before my husband and I even got married. My relationship with her has improved since I had our daughter. She is very big on taking pictures and posting pictures on social media, she doesn’t ask for permission to take and post pictures of you (Frankly it’s annoying that she whips out her phone and takes pictures mid conversation or while eating). Even before I had our daughter I would ask her not to post pictures of me and she would post them anyway. My husband and I both agreed that we want both of our families and friends to ask to permission to post pictures of our daughter. Both of our families agreed. It was never really an issue with my parents because they have always asked permission to post pictures of myself and my husband and always respected our boundaries.
During Thanksgiving she took a bunch of pictures and posted them, despite our previous conversations. So I texted her and politely reminded her to please ask before she post pictures. As a responses she Liked my message. No apology no deleting the post. I felt like she was being disrespectful to me and my husbands boundaries. My husband and I agreed that she is no longer allowed to take pictures of me and our daughter because she has no regards to the boundaries we set. We haven’t seen her and my father in law since thanksgiving so we haven’t told them about this new rule.
Fast forward to today, i made a New Year’s Day post with a bunch of pictures of me, my husband and my daughter. My mother in law took a screenshot of one of the photos of our daughter and made a group chat with her side of the family (10 numbers of people I have no idea who they are). I was upset because 1 I have no idea who these people are and 2 my MIL did not ask me or my husband permission to do so. My husband said it is his extended family (which he is not close with at all). I would’ve been fine with her posting it if she asked either my husband or I. This time my husband reached out to her and reinforced our requests again.
The question is am I over reacting? Is it unreasonable for me to request she ask permission before making post or sending pictures? Is her not being allowed to take pictures of my daughter an over reaction or am I justified?
*Please note that the only reason why we want this is because we don’t want our daughter plastered on the internet for everyone to see. It’s one thing if we make post here and there for our friends and family to see. I don’t know who are family are friends with. There are so many creepy people on the internet.
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I understand your concerns ultimately it’s your baby and she should respect your parenting style !
Maybe she thought it was okay because you had already posted the picture?
But I totally get where you’re coming from. My husband and I are the same way. Sometimes his mom will still ask me something she already asked my husband, Idk why lol. She wanted to post a pic online and I sent her the exact same pic that I posted 😂😂
But she’s just proud and loves her grand daughter, try to show her a little grace. Maybe make her a photo album or something and she can show her friends and extended family when they are over.
I know todays society is extra weird and we have no idea what ppl are doing with photos of our children. It’s scary to think about.
In my opinion, no, you are not. Those are your boundaries and the people around you need to respect them regardless of how they are related to you. It is not an unreasonable request. My partner and i have much stricter boundaries and have found that an app called Cluster has resolved many of our issues when it comes to sharing our son. It’s a private photo sharing app. We love it! Don’t worry though, enforce your boundaries.
So crazy that this post is so spot on with how my mom is that I would think you are one of my sisters in law! I have struggled with this and so have my sisters in law so much with my mom. I just ask her directly to take it down and at the same time remind her that she needs to ask first or to not post at all and why. I don’t want my daughter plastered all over the internet for ppl to see either and my moms facebook is very open as she advertises for real estate and other stuff all of the time. She also has tons of ppl on her Facebook that I don’t know and that she barely knows. Sometimes she gets hurt feelings about it when we have to confront her and it is best that your husband deals with it and not you. That way you’re not the bad guy. My mom gets so hurt when my sisters in law confront her and she feels attacked by them but not by me. My mom never does it to be malicious or anything she just forgets but she also had a brain injury from a stroke years ago.
I mean I do agree with the other comment before, maybe she thought it was okay because you had already posted and the understanding was no photos you haven’t posted unless with your permission. Unfortunately some people need the extra step in rules and you may have to be more detailed. I get boundaries should be followed but as mentioned it just may take more effort to enforce exactly what it is you don’t want crossed.
using the app called “family album” has cleared all of this nonsense up. add her to it and all the other people that actually care about your child.
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