Please help. For my exclusive pumping mamas, how do you and your partner split up overnight duties?

My husband and I are starting to butt heads a lot lately because he doesn’t feel like this is a team effort. I have to wake up to pump literally every 3 hours which often coincides with the baby needing to feed - lately that has been anywhere from every 1-3 hours because he is cluster feeding. I can’t take care of the baby and pump at the same time, so that usually ends up being what I need him to take over on. I’m also battling constant clogged ducts/mastitis so I have to be vigilant to stay on a schedule to relieve myself. This frequently includes needing to sit in a hot shower to massage the clogs out, or being hooked up to a heating pad while pumping.

There are nights when I will do it all to let him sleep. I’ll delay pumping to take care of the baby while ending up engorged and in pain - so the typical routine is diaper change, bottle feed, soothe, rock, swaddle and get him back down, then I’ll pump for 30 mins, bag milk, soak pump parts and go back to sleep which usually takes about an hour to do it all IF baby is not feeling fussy that night. On nights that he isn’t easy to put down this can take up to two hours. I can only do this so many times before it becomes unsustainably exhausting. The never ending cycle of living in 2-3 hour increments of tending to a newborn doesn’t leave much time for sleep.

I’m genuinely looking for a reasonable way for us to do this as a team, but I have a job that he can’t relieve me from - pumping and providing food for our baby. I can take on extra feeds and diaper changes to help him get some extra sleep because I know and care that he’s exhausted, as am I, but he can’t give me a break from this. So what gives? Thanks for your feedback

** Also, for those who are going to ask why I’m exclusively pumping: I had a NICU baby that got accustomed to the bottle in the hospital and will not latch/breastfeed. This is not by choice and it has been a heartbreaking and exhausting experience to have to go this route.

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Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

Help

My LO every feed. Drs don’t seem to think it’s a problem the whole Muslim cloth gets soaked so much I’m using towels now. I’ve tried size O teats he gets really frustrated and still spills it out :(

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.

Of these two, which seems more overall “demanding” to you, overall? Lighthearted poll, not putting anyone down 🫶🏼

As a mum who breastfed for 3 years, I think formula feeding seems 100x harder and more demanding. I give those mamas all the credit because I could not keep up with that faff haha. I truly don’t understand why people say breastfeeding is more effort, other than the fact that no one else can do it. But personally I’d take that over endless bottle prep & cleaning.

Is this normal?

My 12m old is really funny with kids going near him, he’s always been this way, but anytime family’s kids sit next to him or head his way he moans or cries and moves away. He also really observes them and is never really relaxed, always looking over his shoulder. Has anyone experienced this? (He’s starting nursery properly tomorrow so hoping this helps) but is this normal?