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Hey mums!

I don’t know what I intend to gain from this post but I just want to get it off my chest.

I have a beautiful amazing daughter who is 18 months old, partner and our dog, recently moved house to a bigger one, kind seems like I have it all.

But I don’t feel that way, I’m constantly.. unhappy, sad and sometimes miserable. I hate feeling this way, I don’t work anymore due to my daughter and the cost of childcare, I don’t really have much friends, I have lots of family which makes no effort really. I lost my mum in 2019 and have no relationship with my dad. My partner really does nothing to help me at all.. he has been off work from Christmas Eve until 8th December (today) and not once did he offer me to have a long lie (he manage to get a long lie everyday), never offered to help clean, make dinner (or any meals), do washing or anything. I also take the dog for a walk once I get my baby to sleep, I just feel like I am CONSTANT. I’m so miserable.. I’m sat in my bedroom holding my baby while she naps as she won’t nap I don’t hold her, my house is a wreak, there’s so much washing, dishes it’s just endless.. I never stop. I hate what this period of my life is making me feel, it’s nearly 2pm and I haven’t even been able to change from my pjs, brush my hair or teeth. I’m just overwhelmed as hell.

Thank you so much if you’ve gotten here and if even read any of it. again I don’t know what I’m gaining for telling this, I just needed to say it allowed.
Thank you♥️

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Have a sit down with your partner and discuss all this. Staying at home mum doesn't mean you have to do all the chores in the house. It's a partnership. Taking care of a child is a full time job so no, your don't have all the time in the world. Speak to them there's no other way. Hope you find your way. Best luck

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But also housework? I appreciate it needs done but it so isn't worth stressing over. Your house has to be liveable for you and somewhere you're comfortable but don't get hung up on it having to be pristine, it's lived in and we all have dishes and washing mounting up. If it's affecting you and you need help to get on top of it, you could certainly arrange some help to try give your mind some clearance. (a messy house absolutely torments me, so I feel you!)

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Echo what everyone else has said. Local support and get your partner to step up. Not on the way you're doing everything..I also wonder if you are possibly the type to not ask for help reading your post....tell your husband and family you need some support. Your husband especially owes you

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If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

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24

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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18

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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2

12

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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10

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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6

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?

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5

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