Am I overreacting?

Can you take back her items for credit? At least then you aren't have to spend unnecessary money on ones that you want. I would ask your partner to have a conversation with mom about how while you appreciate her wanting to buy goodies for your child (I'm sure she's just a super excited grandmother), there are a lot of "firsts" that you would like to pick out. Maybe Grandma could get a gift card to go towards those things so you can enjoy picking them out yourselves.

Edit to add that my MIL went out and bought herself a set of everything for her house, it was SO bizarre. She got a stroller (cannot walk further than a hundred feet), a car seat (she doesn't drive), a bassinet, a baby bag, etc...I didn't know how to react, but she could tell my expression was off. She's like well this is for when I have to take him to doctor's appointments and when he stays overnight. My spouse and I just looked at each other like are you out of your mind. He wasn't even born yet.

Understand totally. We have one aunt who is always buying things for our son.
I'm already not good at accepting gifts outside of birthdays and holidays, that just how I grew up.

The one that really bothered me was buy my son Crocs in size 4 back in May. I He has really big feet (15 months and we just bought size 6 rainboots). I had mentioned to my SO that we needed to get our son some sandles for the summer and that next paycheck we will go to Carter's. I turn around from watching her daughter in a soft play to see her shoving crocs on my son's feet. They didn't even last the summer.

I appreciate that she is able to buy our son presents, but we don't need a present every time we (or they) visit. We see them at least once a month.

I get that it’s not deep y’all. I think it’s just a boundary thing.
She wanted to open our little one a bank account in our daughters name that only my MIL would have access to? Like we can open her a savings account and you can put it in there.

It’s just small boundaries over and over that I think it’s all just surfacing.

In my opinion, I'd not waste energy being upset over this. The actual baby is the important part, not the stuff. And the stuff is still the first thing YOU bought her. Like my MIL also had plenty to give us, but I still have the outfit that was the first one I bought my daughter. The rest just went in the drawer and got lost in the mix of other baby stuff. Now if she was the one like feeding her first or something I'd be pissed.

Have you had issues with your MIL being overbearing in the past? Maybe it’s those things plus all the things she’s done for your daughter which are making those things for your daughter seem bigger? On the outside, i don’t really like my mother in law because she’s controlling so I would not like that she did those things. Maybe it’s cos you don’t like her lol. If my mum did those things I’d love it

Buying stuff aren't the firsts that matter in my opinion. I'd be thankful for the help.
The firsts that matter are new experiences and milestones for your baby.

I got so much help with my daughter in the same way but I still went out and bought her an outfit that I wanted to be the first one she wore so it was still special for me. Just realize you always have the power to choose for you and your child and don’t feel bad about putting your foot down about it! you can always keep the items for a later date, return or buy your own 💕seems like you have a very supportive MIL tbh even though she may be over bearing I think a lot of us wish we had that 😂 I would just discuss with her that maybe you are feeling like you want to be more independent and you appreciate everything but its taking away from you experiencing all the little things that come with motherhood. I wouldn’t say she is trying to take firsts from you although it’s understandable that it feels that way-as someone that has raised 7 babies and has one of their own the firsts will keep on coming don’t worry 💕

it’s a long standing issue in their family. His parents got divorced because his grandma also has an issue with boundaries

Just buy the stuff you want and either give her stuff back to use at her house or return it or get rid of it. I appreciate the thing my parents get because it saves me money. But if they get something I specifically wanted to do then I just still do it and do something else with their items.

Just buy something else. Why is this a big deal? You got upset because she looked annoyed, but quite frankly, who cares if she's annoyed? You give this lady wayyy too much power, and you care too much what she thinks. Put the baby in whatever the hell you want.

I wouldn't even think twice of it and just be grateful that someone was helping me out before I even have to think about it personally. I genuinely think I would love this. My parents have opened up bank accounts for all their grandchildren. We have no access to it and we don't care, that's their money to do as they choose. We will also open up one for her when we have a little spare cash and have that option to do so. I don't consider it overstepping any boundaries but if it does bother you why don't you chat and suggest your particular choices of items before she buys them.

My in-laws buy a lot of stuff we don’t want (4 “my first Christmas” outfits, 8 Christmas bibs, 8 pairs of Christmas socks that are too small for my daughters giant feet 😂). We’ve talked to them about over buying before but it didn’t really change anything.

Obviously it doesn’t always work but I try to direct that energy in a helpful way by inviting MIL to come shopping with us, eg: “I need to find her some swim clothes, do you want to meet for a coffee and check out some stores with us?”

She usually offers to buy what I pick out, so she feels helpful, I get things I actually want and that fit, and we have a nice coffee after so she can bond with her grandchild. We have nothing in common but her son so sometimes it’s awkward but one awkward morning is a small sacrifice 😂

Can you go shopping with her for other firsts? Then it's not competition, an opportunity to bond