Stunting my baby’s development

She’s just a 2 month old. You are doing perfect. I don’t know where you are located but you can baby wear her and take her out for a walk somewhere to get some fresh air. But it’s not necessary if you feel ok. As long as you are not depressed. You aren’t lazy! Stop it. lol. I couldn’t stand being inside the house with my son all day. I had to be out everyday for two hours and I had a job.

I think the biggest issue here is for you. All baby really needs at that age is cuddles and milk and sleep and a bit of visual and auditory stimulation which she’s getting from you reading her books. So I wouldn’t worry that you’re stunting her development, but it does sound like you’re struggling a bit. Do you think you’re just suffering from the lack of sleep or might it be more than that? PPD maybe?

I definitely think I have PPD but I’m afraid to speak to anyone in case I open up too much and social services get involved. I’ve got a history of depression and self harm 😔

she’s nearly 3 but I don’t have any friends close by or family and my partner works so when he’s not working he just wants to relax at home. I don’t live close to anywhere nice that I can go for a walk and I’m not sure if I’m comfortable going by myself. Babies are so needy. How would I feed him (since I EBF and she has bad reflux) and change her nappy in the woods , what if her poo explodes her nappy? 😭

Try to go for a walk somewhere - even every second day - just to get moving. 1-2 times a week.
You’ll both benefit if you can try to do that. Movement will help.

where do I walk? I’d have to drive somewhere since I don’t know my area and it gives me anxiety to walk around by myself and I have no one to walk with me.. I don’t have a dog anymore so people might think I’m strange just going for a walk 🫠🫠🫠

If baby is healthy then you have no reason to be concerned about social services, I promise you. It’s definitely better to seek support early on rather than wait for things to reach crisis point

It’s not strange to go for a walk. It’s borderline essential to walk.
Even just go outside for fresh air as a start.

I live in a busy area so the pavements are quite dangerous to walk on. How would I plan her feeds and nappy changes before I leave, I don’t want her to get fussy and pumping and sterilising makes me so tired 😔

Do what feels right for you 💕
But hopefully at some point you can get outside. It’s important for you and baby. Wishing you luck.

Pumping is an extra burden when you’re already struggling - is this something you could stop doing?

What is dangerous about the pavements? It would definitely be good to get some fresh air and exercise. Change baby’s nappy and feed, then pop outside for 10-15 minutes. If baby gets fussy you won’t be far from home. Start small and you’ll get the confidence to go further over time 😊

It’s very normal to go on walks with babies without a dog.

Just start really small! A 5 minute walk around the block. If you feel the need wait until your partner is home and go with them for the first week until you’re comfortable leaving the house without them. If the baby starts to get fussy then you only have to last 5 minutes then you’re back inside :)

You’ve already supported and birthed a baby for 9 months- you got this. Sounds to me like your bub is super healthy and you are doing everything right.

I see everyone on TikTok pumping and storing milk so I try and have an extra 5-10oz a day stored in the freezer in case of any particular reason lol I don’t know I just try do what everyone else does… as for the pavements they’re next to a very busy road so I’d have to drive somewhere and I have no idea where I’d drive to because I don’t know the area. Going out for 10-15 minutes sounds like a good idea, I don’t know why in my head I thought I’d have to make a day out of it 🤦🏼‍♀️

my partner works nights so it would be too dark by the time he gets home. He sleeps until he has work and then when he comes home from work is when he will essentially ‘be awake’ and cook and clean etc but it’s like 5am by that point 😭 I’d have to be able to go during the day without him xx

Sounds like you have bad anxiety about taking baby out. People go for walks, just by themselves. Just for the sake of it. It's not odd :)
Also, u won't get to know your area unless u go out and get to know your area. Walking with baby is a great way to do that.

And absolutely change a nappy in the woods - you can do it in their pram real quick or if it's super cold just turn round and go home.
Go right after a feed/nappy change and you'll have a good hr before you should expect a problem ☺️ just a 20 min walk is fine, or a short drive then a walk if your pavements are dangerous.

You got this mama, just take it slow and see what works for you. Honestly, if baby cries or has a blowout you will just cope. It doesn't kill them to wait 20 mins to have a wet nappy changed or to cry for a min if you're in a bad spot!

Also if you take the car you can use car as nappy change hub in the cold! Take a feed and hot water with you for emergencies.
Use what you pump instead of freezing it maybe?

Social services won't get involved because you feel lazy hun. They only get involved for neglect and things like that and your not doing that hun. I got a history of self harm and depression and have done since before my daughter was born 3 years ago and social wasn't involved and never have been. Your doing an amazing job lovely, why don't you get a baby harness and carry the baby like that and go for a walk to your local town or shops xxx

Also maybe check out your local library or see if there's a nearby mall that has walking hours. I get it, I moved 6 months before my baby was born. Moving around will be good for both of you. I used to go to the library and read aloud when baby was awake, and read something for my pleasure when she fell asleep. Walking hours at the mall was a surprising find for me. They even have a lullaby room for parents with a private area for breastfeeding and a changing station that's not in the bathroom. While thats definitely not every mall, you'll be surprised at the accommodations you will find.

I’ve looked extensively into the research done about screen time and children and it’s honestly abysmal at best. There are way too many variables that aren’t accounted for.

A bit of educational screen time each day isn’t going to hurt anything. Hell, my mom told me I watched Sesame Street for at least two hours a day for my first 4 years of life and I’m fine!

I honestly didn’t even think about changing them in the pram or the car 🤦🏼‍♀️ thank you ! I just find it so embarassing if people hear him cry when we are out of the house, I don’t want people to think I’m a bad mum ☹️☹️

I have a baby carrier, both a wrap and an actual carrier but I get so scared I’ll trip and fall and squash baby 😖😖

Awe hun you won't do that I used to feel the exact same because I had her on my front and I couldn't see where I was walking. If you want to private message me on here your more than welcome to. Honest we all get lazy sometimes we are human at the end of the day. Don't let anyone judge you at all! Your a mum which is a hard job especially if your like me and single mum.

I’ve been having Netflix on in the background and it’s definitely not ms Rachel! My baby has been listening to Breaking Bad for the last week (and honestly watching a little of it) and it was Lord of the Rings before that and Tulsa King before that. Next she’ll listen to a Sopranos rewatch, lol.

I try to make sure what while I’m watching were also doing tummy time and using the play gym. Having black and white cards and mirrors for her lets me have an active or passive role in her play so that takes a lot of pressure off.

I had let her watch Hey Bear before I heard I wasn’t supposed to let her have screen time this early. She also FaceTimes with her grandma so I’m not sure if I should stop doing that too.

I’m a mandated reporter and I can tell you 100% that I wouldn’t report someone for screen time or not taking their baby on walks. Social services only cares if you’re neglecting or abusing your kid, and it doesn’t sound like that’s happening at all.
What’s your support system?

I'd atleast try to get out the house once a day as a start. To say you'll look strange, I don't drive so I only walk, everywhere. We also live next to the most uneven gravely canal, we've also lived in London with some wild pavements and up a sheer mountain of a hill. Drive to a park or walk around a town, anything.

I think you should go to your doctor and let them know about your intrusive/anxious thoughts. Just remember postpartum anxiety/depression is very real and very common. There is no chance they will take your baby from you it’s just another intrusive thought that’s gone through your head :)

She can sit in her poop for half an hour while you just take a walk for fresh air lol. Trust me, it’s ok. And I seen people breastfed babies while they are wearing them on their chest. There’s always a way. You can always bring a diaper and a blanket for her to lay on on the ground to change her if it’s really unbearable to you. Just walking while wearing her, she will enjoy the view outside with you. My babies loves taking walks with me outside. We don’t have much of a view either. It’s just cars and trees here. But they enjoy the walks