Resentful

Absolutely not. Am I an asshole for thinking whyyyyyyyyyy did you ever give him that money in the first place?! That’s not your problem!!! 😫 I’m SO sorry you are going through this, I would be fuming. I don’t even know what to say, what to suggest or what would help, but no, you are 10000% not an asshole for being upset 💔

Those kids were in a terrible state. They turned up unwashed, dirty clothes, shoes far too small, hair matted, the 4 yo has black teeth (seriously I’ve never seen anything like it). She would just go out and leave them until 2am and turn back up drunk/high. I couldn’t consciously let them live that way. As soon as we started court proceedings she then made every accusation under the roof about my partner to the point I had social services interview me when I was pregnant and I was terrified they would take my baby away.

Honestly, I would be fuming. I would tell him outright that you’re not going back to work yet and you’ll have to both sit down and look at your finances and work out how you can make ends meet. Your baby will only be young once x

I am defo an asshole because I still don’t feel it’s fair that you’ve lost all your inheritance and now your time to mother because of someone else’s inability to mother! But what’s done is done and your clearly a very nice person to do what you have done 🫶 just crap you are now in the situation you are in. So wish I could throw you some money to help you out 😫😫

Tell the police and get your money back

Resentful doesn’t even begin to cover how I’d feel in your shoes!! 😡 him covering you while you take extended maternity leave was essentially him paying you back ‘in kind’- if he’s not going to do that then effectively he’s stolen that money from you in my eyes. I’d be sitting him down and telling him either we budget to make the extended maternity work as agreed, or he can pay me back the entire 50K. Either that or I’d be reporting it as a loan he’s not paid back and going the legal route

You probably know how much he earns. Is it possible for you to not work? If yes, then he’ll have to suck it up, how dare he make that promise and then turn around like that. If no.. he better start paying you back bit by bit for thinking your inheritance is his piggy bank. I hope you’re certain it all went for legal fees? Are they really that much and there was no affordable legal help? I mean how do people do it if they don’t have that money.. but that’s off point. Have to be very careful with money, I looked up nursery fees before even getting pregnant 😅 I hope you get what’s rightly yours, either the money back or hopefully the time with your baby 🖤

Thank you guys. I was feeling like such a dick because those kids really needed us and I couldn’t sit back. But be did promise.

In terms of legal fees- she claimed all this abuse and it took two years and a 4 day court hearing to prove that she was making it all up. The money definitely went to them because I was the one making direct payments. We technically still owe them £3k. It’s awful. Family court is disgusting.

I will chat with him. I wasn’t adverse to going back part time because it’s night work and some WFH but it’s just the way he’s gone back on it

Why did he have to pay legal fees if the kids was in such a bad state? Surely they would have been removed from the mother regardless? I would not be going back to work and if he can't afford it then that's on his head just don't go back

I'm so angry for you. You used your inheritance to save HIS kids! And now you have to lose out on your time with your baby. Is he at least showing that he is sorry that you need to go back to work?

This is so sad. If the children were being neglected or not looked after properly then social care should have been involved and you should never have had to pay that money to take it to court yourself. I would not be going back to work, as you made an agreement when you lent him that money that he would support you to stay home longer. It sounds like he has screwed you over to be honest. I'm so sorry your going through this x

social services were involved but we didn’t know. She made my partner out to be a monster. She was also massively protected by the school because she volunteers there and is friends with the safeguarding officer at the school. This was highlighted in court and we’re now going through the local authorities to complain.

I’m sad for you that you spent your dads money! And then you don’t get your time with your baby :( I would say no I am staying longer because I did this thing I didn’t have to do it but I did it because I care! , do you not care about me !? Question him about it and say how can I do something soo big for you because I care but you can’t do something big for me that we agreed on ! This is not fair how dare you do me like this !! I put my trust in to you I gave my dads inheritance to you

I fully agree!

That's completely unfair. It was YOUR money that you very kindly let him have under a very fair condition. You have every right to be pissed off.