Husband asked for open marriage

Here’s the thing once you go to open marriage there’s no turning back

There is people you can talk to to help you guys get to where you were at

Having open marriage is tricky.

He’s getting sex but he could possibly like the person cause they are wild and free etc

Personally, I would reach out to a well reviewed sex therapist before considering an open marriage. I’ve been seeing one for a year prior to getting pregnant after developing sex anxieties/avoidance and pretty much losing all desire for sex. It has helped a lot for sure. An open marriage sounds like absolute last resort, as Ana said, you can’t go back once you try it and your relationship will never be the same. Maybe it’ll be better, or maybe you get left for a younger side chick.

Open marriage is a recipe for disaster. I would speak to your doctor about your low libido and see if there’s anything you can do. There are treatments/options for low libidos in women. You’re not a failure, this is just a hurdle. But the second you “open” your marriage, it’s not a marriage anymore. I know I might get hate for that, but it’s true. And if he were to have sex with someone else, yeah it may start as “just sex” but sex is never really just sex. Eventually it would lead to feelings that he wouldn’t be able to control—whether that be on his part or on hers.

I’ve suggested going to a sex therapist but he didn’t want to since it would cost money

There’s plenty that will take your insurance. And honestly, this is your marriage and your relationship should be his number one priority. If he’s not even willing to invest a little into that then I would deeply question his true intentions on the open marriage. Sounds like he’s just looking for a pass for fun on the side instead of trying to fix an integral part of the relationship. My sex therapist says that as long as you’re willing to put in the time and effort, anyone can have a healthy and satisfying sex life. It just has to become a priority for the both of you.

Im sure there’s even some free help on the internet if you do some digging.

My husband's sex drive is no where near mine and I would never ask for that. It's a huge red flag in my opinion

I would never allow this. He can fuck a sex toy if he's that horny. You just birthed his child!!! Get a fucking grip man!

It really normal to have low libido after giving birth. It can feel like it goes on forever. I think with open marriages becoming more mainstream it’s a conversation lots of couples are having, and I think that there are going to be ebbs in flows in your compatibility throughout marriage. I would give your body more time to heal before declaring you have no sex drive. Take time to make the decision that feels best for you, your marriage, and your family.

on January 17 I’ll be a year postpartum, how long do you think it’ll take for my drive to come back?

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

You are absolutely not failing as a wife and your husband is an absolute douchebag. The solution is not to sleep with someone else but work on intimacy in your relationship. It doesn’t always have to be sex. Intimacy is so important and it’s the connection that will get you both back to where you once were physically. But your husband needs some professional help for even considering an open marriage 🚩

He should be working on helping you get your libido back, doing everything to make you feel your best! He doesn’t sound invested in your relationship in my opinion and that’s a massive red flag! 🚩

I 100% agree with . A marriage is worth investing in and seeing a marriage counsler and/or a sex therapist would be really helpful. Of course things change after a baby but intimacy is an important part of marriage and there might be underlying issues that could be effecting this part of your marriage.