Dummy reliance

My little one is 9 weeks old and I feel like he is becoming to reliant on his dummy.

He needs it to be soothed to sleep and just for soothing in generally to be honest.

Any tips on how I can wean him off if before he becomes too reliant on it? Can he even become too reliant on it at this age or am I overthinking?

FTM here feeling out of my depth 😫

Ps no judgement if your little ones have dummies and you’re not looking to wean of it 😊

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Definitely let him have it if the suckling helps to soothe him ☺️ you have lots of time to wean him off it. No judgment for me at all as my eldest loved his dummy and I didn’t take it off hi till he was 3 🙈

I wouldn’t say there’s such thing as being reliant on it at this age. The sucking reflex they are born with is so strong, they need to fulfil that urge to suck. People seem to think they have achieved something by having a child who didn’t have a dummy, someone actually once said to me “I’m really proud we never needed a dummy”. I was like yea whatever, every baby has the urge to suck and there’s zero harm in satisfying that. Leave it with him for now would be my advice but if you still really want to get rid just go cold turkey. I did that with my 18 month old and she was off it in a day. She had it for 18 months, has perfect baby teeth and her speech is fantastic. Don’t listen to all the negativity around dummies, they are great tool to have to calm baby and greatly reduce the risk of SIDS x

Thank you ladies, I needed to hear now. I think like you say lots of negativity and scare mongering around dummies. But you’re all right it helps him so why take it off him I’m just overthinking xx

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This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

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We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

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