Am I in the wrong?

So when my baby is born, husband and I r going to tell the nurses we don’t want visitors for more then an hour at a time, no more then 2 at a time, and we want limited contact with baby from visitors. We r going to tell the nurses to lie to my family about it being policy. But we aren’t doing it with my husbands family (it’s just his mom and dad). My mother is also pissed off at me bc I told her she’s not getting baby’s first picture and she’s not going to be the first one to hold him or share the news that I had baby. Bc of just that she’s threatening to kick me and my husband out and not even bother to come to the hospital. I’m worried that when she finds out that we don’t want visitors around baby or me for the first day or so she’ll go over the edge and actually kick us out with a newborn and no where to go.

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You ARE NOT in the wrong! Your birth is about you and your baby, and anyone who can’t respect that doesn’t deserve to be around your baby. I also want limited visitors, minimal exposure to baby, and no one gets to announce baby before my husband or I. My family is very upset, but I don’t care. Don’t ever feel like you should let down your boundaries to make other people happy. As for your mother, I’m so sorry that you are in that situation and that she doesn’t respect you.

Wow I would remove myself from that situation in any means possible because she will try to control everything even after this situation especially when it comes to baby

My dad encouraged me to take time for myself when the baby is born and to relax before I invite anyone to come see him

Defiantly not in the wrong! I’m a PP nurse and I’ve had patients tell the front desk only certain names of certain visitors which was normal for that hospital. As the nurse there we didn’t control the front locked door much there was mostly someone sitting at the desk and they ask for ID of everyone going onto the unit.
I’ve never had anyone tell me personally as the nurse to limit them for one hour and to limit contact with baby. I’m always willing to go above and beyond for my patients but if I’m with another patient giving meds i wouldn’t be in the room to tell all the family members of your wishes like limiting contact and time etc. or maybe I’m confused ?

Also I’m not personally planning on having a hospital birth as I’m going private with a midwife this time around but me and my hubby already discussed that I’m having no visitors at home for a few days and when I do allow them obviously hand washing etc. I’ll probably try and find an excuse for them to leave like I need to go feed baby then go to a separate room and maybe get my hubby to say we’re sleeping or something idk lol!

Ugh I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s your body, your baby, your little family, your choice. You’ll be a new mom and need time with your new emotions and new body functions. I don’t want visitors either, but we’ve never lived near family until recently.
We were in a very similar housing situation in Nov ‘23 and after a week my MIL told us we couldn’t stay once we figured out our finances. I was grateful that she told me that because I had time to find a new arrangement before baby comes. If you’re concerned about being kicked out, find a new arrangement because that is no way to live under someone’s fkn thumb.

my husband and I were living on our own last year. But unfortunately we had something come up that caused us to have to move in with my mom. I lost my job in Aug of 23 and haven’t been able to get a job since. And trust me it’s not from lack of trying. My husband didn’t have much luck about finding a job after he lost his job as well until Oct of 23. We’ve been living off of roughly $1000 a month since November. If we had the means to live somewhere else we would have already up and left and cut contact with my family

unfortunately we live with my mother due to some circumstances we couldn’t control. So no visitors is impossible. We want no visitors at all at the hospital but my mother nearly kicked us out when I even mentioned that being an option. So I just ended up dropping it after a huge fight over it. We plan to tell her I’ve gone into labor after we get to the hospital and get things situated with the nurses and staff. The excuse we plan to use is that we were worried about getting me to the hospital and situated and touching our fones hadn’t crossed our minds yet

setting boundaries with her is like stepping on fire. U can’t without getting hurt. I don’t even want to tell her I when I go into labor but Ik if I don’t she’ll get mad and hold kicking us out over my head. She’s the type of person that has to control everything and is extremely narcissistic.

She sounds narcissistic and I’m so sorry you have to stress over it

Ugh I’m so sorry 🥺

in our community

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?