Ferber method

You’ve got this!!! 🥰
It is really hard but try and stick at it! Sending hugs xx

Stick to it!! Took us 1hr 25m first night but I swear to god it has been the best thing we’ve done xx

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. It’s exhausting, but I can’t leave my LG to cry, at any costs.

Give in then, honestly I understand how hard it is to be exhausted my son is up between 5 and 10 times a night. It won't always be like this. Our babies need us right now, we are their safe space.

Best thing we’ve ever done! I put him to bed and he goes straight to sleep now.

Just wanna say to those of you who are so against it, you’re entitled to your own opinions of course, but maybe choose your words carefully. Just because someone chooses to sleep train, doesn’t mean it’s easy for them or they don’t care to be their child’s ‘safe space’.

choosing words carefully can be said for either side of the discussion.

the sad thing is I get the impression that the OP wanted moral support with her sleep training journey, but she’s been guilt tripped & mum shamed (in my opinion) instead. So disappointing x

okay? 👍

agreed.
I hope the first night goes well for you! You’ve got this 💪

thank you so much! I don’t usually post and that’s the reason why as people don’t say nice comments! It’s gone really well first time 20 mins and he was asleep and not woke up yet lol he usually would xxx

that’s really good! Quicker than it took us the first night ☺️ xx

it’s really quite sad that mums can’t support other mums on topics like this. It’s passive mum shaming & I can’t stand it.

But anyway! 20 mins is amaaaaaazing! Our first night took ages, but once he was asleep he slept til 7am and I was so shocked as we were up 5+ times and cosleeping (I say sleeping but that’s far from the truth) from about 2am every night. It was hell. Since then (we did it between Xmas & new year), he’s had ONE wake up. He reaches out to go into his cot when he’s tired now which is just completely unbelievable from where we were a month ago. The absolute key to success I found is to be consistent, even for naps 🥰🥰 xx

awww that’s amazing! I haven’t had a good nights sleep in over a year i am in need of one as for some reason a baby crying doesn’t wake my partner up so he doesn’t know when he wakes up in the night 😂😂 xxx

Awh bless you I know the feeling to all of those things 😂
Sending you all the magical Ferber sleepy dust x x

sorry but to me it sounded like she wanted to be told she didn't have to do it as it was horrible watching her child cry.
At the end of the day it's hard to gage tone from written words.
It isn't mum shaming to tell somebody they can get through this, and they aren't alone with the lack of sleep.
I'm glad you are happy with sleep training, but at the end of the day you need to accept that not everyone is going to agree with leaving a child to cry themselves to sleep.
What I find disappointing is that people think it's acceptable to leave their children to cry and almost want validation for it. We are all entitled to our opinion.

I mean… you clearly have a problem with sleep training, so you were never gunna be in this thread supporting this mums efforts with it.
You’ve bluntly told her to give up and suck the sleep deprivation up because that’s what you and some other mums do. It absolutely is mum shaming to invalidate this mums efforts because ‘our babies need us right now’. That’s as patronising as patronising gets in my book, no matter what tone it’s said in.
I don’t particularly care what you think about sleep training, be as disappointed as you like, my baby sleeps beautifully and is happier all round, there’s been absolutely no impact on our bond and I am still his safe place. He’s just learnt the art of self settling & I tend to every single need of his.
Just quit with trying to force your own parental opinions on others, this is supposed to be a safe place for mum’s not somewhere they get judged. If this lady wanted your opinion on sleep training, she’d have asked for it.

yes I do have a problem with sleeping training. Sleep isn't something that can be trained, it's a biological thing.
I myself as an adult rarely sleep through the night, so I wouldn't expect a baby to. I also would hate to cry myself to sleep all alone, so I wouldn't expect my son to either.
It worked for you, that's fine. But it can have long lasting effects on attachment and also not be a permanent fix.
Also, our babies do need us right now, they aren't able to fend for themselves.
You say you tend to every need, which is such a contradiction. They cry because they need something.
You are literally judging me yourself for not sleep training and getting up with my son through the night😂

I think you’ve only proved my point that you never joined this thread to support this mum. You joined it to harp your own tune and mum shame cos they’ve made a decision that you don’t agree with & need everyone to know about it. You’re here for your own gain.

Like I said, I don’t care what you think about it. I did my own research & made my own informed choice - not one that I took lightly either and I’m sure no others have either. The only impact it’s had is that we now all sleep soundly and we’re happier.

I couldn’t care less what you do and don’t do, but be assured that if you were asking for support on here, I’d try and support you where I could rather than give you a telling off for doing something I might not personally agree with and THATS the issue I have with your comments 🙄

you said you find it disappointing that people think it’s acceptable to leave their child to cry and yet you say you’re not mum shaming? 🤨

I wish I never did this post didn’t think I would get so much back lash 🙈 I didn’t just let him cry for 20 mins I went in every 3 mins and laid him down and comforted him!

I was using her own words back at her, saying about us being disappointing for not leaving our babies to cry, essentially. Mum shaming works both ways.
In my initial comment I wasn't shaming anyone, I was trying to let OP know she isn't alone with the lack of sleep. Then all you sleep trainers jumped on me, for suggsting that she doesn't have to sleep train if she doesn't want to.

I think you're doing amazingly! Going in to check and comfort baby without picking them up is a lovely idea! They know mummy will always come back but also start to learn how to self soothe. Props to you girlie! People forget it's our first time at life too 🥰

I said I was disappointed that certain mums can’t support other mums in this thread, but sure Jade, you carry on with your anti-sleep-training agenda on a sleep training thread 😵‍💫😵‍💫
Mind boggling, really is.

don’t be sorry!! Mums should feel safe to ask for support on this app no matter the topic. I can’t sit back and see grown women try and make you and others feel guilt for a decision you made for you & your little one. It’s not ok, as if being a mum isn’t hard enough xx

don’t call me a sleep trainer 😂 there you go again, hurting my feelings. FYI, training is complete and I’ll be getting a good nights sleep tonight ☺️

what's mind boggling is that you leave your baby to cry for an hour and a half😂

Anyway you shamed me first.

At the end of the day, as I already said, I read her post to be saying that she didn't actually want to sleep train and I was trying to say she isn't alone with lack of sleep.
You read it differently to me, and decided to start talking shit about me. Now moaning that I am against sleep training.

5 minutes at most 😂 Jesus. Such strong opinions about something you evidently know little about. Go start your own thread about how much you hate sleep training, see how far you get. I’m here to support the OP and that’s all!

you literally said yourself 1hr 25mins.
I don't need to start a thread about it. I appreciate everyone will have different opinions on sleep training, it's a very emotive subject whether for or against it.
I just don't appreciate being shamed by you for having an opinion that differs from yours. Then you calling me the mum shamer after you shaming me in the first place.

if you knew what Ferber is, you’d understand that whilst it took 1hr25, he was resettled after short intervals of 2, 3 and 5 mins. He wasn’t left to cry for hours, no Ferber trained baby is, don’t make these wild assumptions and run with them in threads like this.

I’ll repeat my earlier comment that I do not care what you do with your little one. I haven’t mum shamed you in the slightest, I’ve just called you out for passively trying to mum shame this lady because you don’t agree with what she’s seeking support with & I literally cannot sit back and watch you doing it whilst this lady is probably at her last sleep deprived wit. Maybe I’ve woman-shamed you. I’ll accept that.

The idea of Ferber is to help them learn to self settle without parents having to cuddle/rock/feed them to sleep

You don’t just leave them to cry themselves to sleep..
It’s not a punishment.. it’s a way of letting them know that every time you leave the room, you’re going to return

My LG will stand at her cot and cry for a couple of minutes and then she will lay down and go to sleep

Your son is up 5-10 times a night.. as you said - if that works for you then that’s fine but it doesn’t work for everyone

Please tell me about the Ferber method?? 🙏🏻😩😴