I can’t do this anymore, I’m so done, I already know I have severe post partum depression. But no one gives a fuck. I’m about ready to give the fuck up, I can’t do this fucking shit anymore. I’m bawling my damn eyes out at 2 o’clock in the afternoon because I’m so tired. My health is shitty and I can’t take it anymore. My tonsils are swollen it inflamed 90% of the time, my nose hurts because of a perforated septum, I can’t sleep because I’m so fucking hell bent on just making sure that the 2 month old isn’t just gonna pass away in the middle of the night. I hate fucking OCD I can’t do it anymore. I’m just so done. My worthless fucking mind is done. Why the hell did I ever think I was worth this fucking shit. I resent my fucking kids that I want to disown both of them and I know I’m a piece of shit for it but I just can’t handle it anymore . I’m so fcking alone anymore.
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Get Help Now. Call 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) for 24/7 free confidential support for pregnant and new moms.

I'm so sorry you feel this way I looked up a support line I hope it helps you. I hate when I feel like that and so I hope this helps somehow.

Im hurting for you, and I understand how you feel. I wish I can give you a hug and make these feelings pass. I’m also lonely, exhausted and feeling like I’m ready to give up but somehow find the strength to push myself through it knowing it will pass.
I don’t even know what to say to you because I feel like there is nothing that can be said for you to feel better. You are doing something right because you were given 2 kids, if you didn’t deserve them they wouldn’t be yours. Take it easy on urself and maybe seek help, like therapy talking these feelings out help a lot, I know from my experience because I suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks for over 10 years until I went to get help. Don’t give up today is hard but tomorrow maybe it’ll get easy it pours before it shines.

Also, you should call your doctors office as well and let them know. They may have easier help closer to where you live.

You are not alone. I also am suffering from PPD/PPA. I am in the process of tapering off a med that made me worse and onto a med I’ve taken before. I am 2 months postpartum, I had those same thoughts and feelings and still get waves. One thing that was able to help me is to see if anyone could come sit with me and help me take care of my kids. Sniff some lavender essential oil. Make sure to get a shower before bed while someone else watched my kids. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I feel way better than I did a two weeks ago. Please reach out to your doctor.
I haven’t been taking any prescriptions since I had my daughter because idk where they are since we moved.. it’s impossible with my mother in law and how she degrades me as a mom all the time. I’m tired of the way she treats me and her grandkids. She wants to say her son is to blame for his step brothers being lazy and jobless because he smokes dabs and whatever but never sees that it’s her and the dad who are the issue. She gives them cigarettes and they smoke in the house a which I know is horrible and unsanitary for young kids but they won’t stop. I just honestly don’t know how I’m gonna cope anymore . All I wanna do is throw myself into the street and let the next car hit me. I see an ENT regarding my nose and throat and I honestly want them to remove my tonsils and something magically go wrong and it kills me. Tonsil surgery at my age is risky. Plus no one cares that at the end of the day im burnt out and what not it’s not like being a mom is hard work to them.

I remember all of these feelings. I had post partum after my first born and it sucked so bad. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't be happy wondering what was so wrong with me that I couldn't be happy to have a healthy baby boy. I had a cyst on my back, my stomach hurt from my c-section, the father had no job. My parents had to pay our bills. It was a very hard time that I will never forget. The best advice is go outside, open blinds, get fresh air, and try your hardest to remind yourself that these feelings will pass. Everything will be ok, you just have to breath and believe it. You can't trap yourself in all of your emotions, I'm so sorry you're going through this! So so so sorry

Stay strong! I know it is easier said than done, but this will pass! Try to focus on how much love your kids have for you. You are the center of their world and without you they are lost. It does not matter what your mother in law thinks or says to you. You got this. You really do. I would definitely reach out to your doctor because I would not be able to still be here if I didn’t ask for help with some medication.