Partner going away at 37 weeks.. am I unreasonable?

My pregnancy was very unexpected, prompting me to relocate to Italy to have our baby, where my partners work is based. Despite the lack of a family support system, I chose to prioritize our time together. He has two older children in the uk (14&16) who he will be visiting for 3/4 days over Easter. I will be 37 weeks when he goes and I am feeling completely overwhelmed at being alone during this time. His reasoning for wanting to go is that it will be his last time seeing his children for a while so he will be able to focus his attention on the pregnancy when he returns. I can’t help but feel really vulnerable and not want him to go? I originally wanted my birth in the uk so I would be close to my family however he was adamant that Italy would be a lot better for us and the baby. Now I can’t help but feel really hurt that he cannot even seem to prioritise mine and the babies needs at this time.

Am I being unreasonable? This pregnancy has been emotionally and physically rough for me and I honestly can’t imagine how I will feel at 37 weeks pregnant in a country that is not mine..

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I am so sorry that you are going through this, I don’t think that this is unreasonable at all. Do you think he’d agree to go see them during half term in February and would that be cool with you? It’s around the corner, maybe too soon, but at least you won’t be so close to your due date then.

Avatar

It's tricky as I get both sides, and I get it from his other children's too, they also won't want to feel second best to their dad's new baby. Is there a way they could fly out to see you both? Is there a way your mum or someone could fly out to be with you?

Avatar

At 14 and 16, could they fly out to Italy for Easter instead? That way your partner still gets to see them but you have him around for support too?

Avatar

Can't he see them before 37 weeks?

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.


I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

Avatar

1

11

Advice

Hi everyone! I honestly have 0 social queues when it comes to talking to anyone in general. I definitely have a hard time talking to other women and making new friends. I can 100% relate. I just don’t like the idea of texting or meeting up but when I do I’m like “oh this isn’t bad.” Any advice? I also have a hard time getting comfortable and just feeling judged by other women😅 I’m also 19 so maybe making a change in this now will help in the future making mom friends/friends in general. Thanks in advance!

Avatar

5

6

Looking for more same age friends!!

Hi! I’m 23 and a stay at home (soon to be) mom. I have been having a tough time finding friends/women in similar circumstances to mine and would love to make some if possible! If you feel the same, let me know

Avatar

3

5

BJ’s

Am I the only one that thinks blowjobs are boring?

Avatar

4

Hi Mums

I live in New Zealand and I’m really keen on finding a regular best friend to chat with. It’s incredibly lonely. I love Australia and I think it would be fantastic to have friends there. If you’re comfortable with long-distance friendships we could meet up in New Zealand. I also want someone to video call because I currently have no friends every single day. I feel really lonely because I don’t have a nice family. I just want friends to become family one day and of course I need to trust them first which is why I’m making this post. I just got married 🥹👰❤️

Avatar

3

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Avatar

3

5

Read more on Peanut