Cheating or is it the hormones..?

My bf went out of town on a work trip this weekend, it was his first one and he’ll have to go one weekend a month for the next few years.

In the beginning of our relationship (3ish months in) hadn’t had the exclusive talk yet.. some sketchy things came up that made me believe he was still talking to other people. We discussed it and he assured me it wasn’t like that. He cut those people off and blocked them without me asking. He hasn’t given any indication of cheating since then and that was over a year ago. He moved in with me in November so we’ve been by each others side ever since, he doesn’t hide his phone from me or act secretive about anything ever.

I forgive but I don’t forget.. he was in communication with me pretty much the whole time he was gone but in the back of my head I’m just thinking “well what if he cheated while he was gone bc he felt free and like he wouldn’t get caught”.

Am I being crazy? Part of me wants to ask him if he did anything on his trip but the other part is telling me I’m being irrational.
I don’t feel attractive right now in my huge pregnant state so maybe it’s insecurity..

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Do you ask to go through his phone occasionally for reassurance?
I have the same problem but I make it clear to him that I will not allow even love googles to blind me from any suspicious activity. My partner travels once a week for days if not the entire week and it sucks and makes me overthink. He’s aware of this and knows that if he doesn’t respect my boundaries such as not going to a bar when out of town or ignoring overly friendly women that it could cost our relationship. It may seem overbearing to some people but I never wanted my partner to travel for work and made that clear in the beginning but since I’ve been pregnant he has too because it pays the best and I stopped working. Being pregnant and your body changing dramatically definitely plays a role as well talk to him about it. Opening up vulnerably can help him address issues and bring ease to you.

I wouldn’t ask because it’s rare a cheater will tell you the truth. I could be wrong but It seems like he’s doing the right thing. If you begin to notice strange behaviors ( hiding phone, secret messages, acting different, etc, goes missing during work trip) that’s when I would become suspicious.

Apologies if I didn’t understand the background entirely, but it looks like you said he was possibly engaging with other people BEFORE you were exclusive, which would mean he has never cheated on you. While I understand pregnancy hormones and how that can make your brain go on overdrive, I would recommend a candid and vulnerable conversation about your feelings rather than making requests for phone sharing and passwords with no evidence past or present of cheating. Trust is something you give willingly knowing that your partner could break it, but chooses not to.

If he gave you no reason to think he cheated, your mind is just telling you maybe, then I wouldnt bring it up. If you start accusing him for no reason then he may start to pull away from you just feeling attacked. It sounds like he has given you every reason to trust him and has been faithful since you had the exclusive talk at 3mo.

I'd talk to him about the thoughts going on in your head. Don't ask him if he did anything, don't come across accusatory since he hasn't given you any reason to believe he's cheating. Just talk openly about what's going on in your head and let him in. See how he does with that.

Ask him

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