I’m still so mad at this midwife!!!
When I gave birth, me and my husband were separated because I caught him on dating apps literally weeks before I gave birth. I was going through a lot emotionally, and at one point didn’t even want him at the birth, but then decided that wasn’t fair on him to miss out on.
I did NOT want any visitors at the hospital at all. I even told my husband my own family weren’t coming so that it’s fair on his side too. I had a lot of issues with my MIL too, and she was the last person I wanted at the hospital. She caused so much issues in my marriage, and called me and my family all sorts of nasty names. This woman didn’t even ONCE ask me how my pregnancy was going, and I was LIVING with her for god sake! when we first told her the news, she didn’t even look at me or say anything, just continued watching her tv show with such a horrible look on her face!!! My husband had to ask her ‘are you happy’ and her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if I’m happy or not, if it happens then it happens’ like wtf???
When I gave birth, I was in hospital for 6 nights, my husband was fighting me for his mum to come see our baby. I told him NO several times, got to a point where he was literally shouting at me in the hospital room and I had to call someone to ask him to leave because he was stressing me out right after I’ve just given birth. He even said if my mum doesn’t come then I’m leaving and never coming back trying to manipulate me.
All the other midwife’s understood me and agreed that’s it’s my decision who I allow to come see me and my baby in the hospital, except for ONE…she took my husbands side and said it wasn’t fair that his mum wasn’t allowed to visit. Like excuse me?? to this day I’m still so fucking mad at her. I wish I had the strength back then to speak my mind to her and tell her WHY I didn’t want his mum there. But I was so sleep deprived and mentally drained out from all the arguing with my husband over this.
When his mum came to visit the baby, she came in the room and went straight to where baby was sleeping. Didn’t even acknowledge me, didn’t even ask how are you? She didn’t even talk to me the whole time she was there, and she had the audacity to come hold my baby. I was so angry inside but stayed silent. Im still so mad at my husband and at myself that I let that happen.
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I completely understand I held my tongue ab letting my bf aunt come see our baby, I did not like her and still don’t. I wish I spoken up louder. Couldn’t even have space to feel comfortable as a new mother to breastfeed my child. When I said something ab being uncomfortable I was told I was weird so I just waited until she left. Made my experience worse
Totally your husband’s fault for putting you in a situation like this. Instead of arguing with you, he could’ve just asked his mum to see the baby later and let you guys rest for a bit.
I would suggest you file a complaint with your trust. I don’t think stuff like this should be left buried. You can’t turn back time but you can at least get the hospital to acknowledge their wrongdoing.
As for your husband he doesn’t seem fit to be a father. Consider if he really is deserving of the title husband as well if he was cheating while you were pregnant.
yep that’s what I said. But he put his mums feelings above mine, when the woman didn’t even care about the baby when I was pregnant. I still resent him for that.
I’ve thought about complaining but I don’t even know her name! I remember what she looks like that’s all!
I agree, he doesn’t deserve the title husband. And I know if I did what he did, I’d have his whole family especially his mum on my back.
If you remember date and time, and can give description I they should be able to find in their records who this person was. Even if they don’t it would still be tracked in their quality management system and they would have to have a talk with the whole unit. Maternity wards across the country are currently under scrutiny for the numerous undesirable outcomes they have so they should take complaints seriously. Allowing someone you stated you do not want present could be a security concern. They don’t know why you don’t want the person there and if they would like to harm you or your baby. It’s unacceptable behaviour. I hope you’re feeling better now and can move on from this so you can enjoy time with your little one. I would still recommend you find an email for complaints and send them one detailing your experience.
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