Night dread

So suddenly I started dreading the nights because of our son. The newborn stage was way worse, objectively speaking, with hourly nursing sessions. Yes, it was hard, but I was so occupied that I never thought about it at all.

However, he's 9 months on the 13th. On good nights he will only wake up 2 or 3 times. When he's teething, it's worse. But recently I started to dread the nights. My husband won't do any "night shifts" because "he's always so tired". I'm a SAHM atm and he works from Monday-Friday. On the weekend, in the mornings, he will rarely take him so that I can sleep in. Because he wants to sleep in, too. I don't wanna start a huge argument everytime. We've discussed it a lot, he won't do it. So I'll need advice that doesn't involve him.

I don't know what to do. What can do, what can I control, so that I dread the nights less?

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Do you have a nightly routine to go down for bed?

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Does your little one sleep with you or close in your same bedroom at night? It may make things alot easier if you have him sleep with or close to you and have any needed bottles or papers within hands reach.
Also, since you're sahm, a valuable tool is to nap when the baby naps.
When you need to do household chores or things while the baby is awake just put him in the stroller and have him next to you so you can watch and entertain him while you work. Hope this helps just a little

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Does he have a comfort blanket or a small stuffed animal?? Our LO has a small stuffed elephant she likes to cuddle at night and this helps.

One thing that also helps is to give them a minute to resettle before you go in there. This was hard for me at first because the minute she would cry I would want to go in there but I found that most of the time she was just upset to be awake and as soon as she would locate her elephant she would lay back down and go back to sleep on her own.

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@Melissa I usually give him a bath and then rock him to sleep.

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Yes, his crib is in our room. But lately I just feel so exhausted, getting up and putting him back to sleep for 30-40 minutes. You're right, I need to learn how to nap during the day, I'm a bad napper. It just feels like I should ve doing chores in that time when he naps for an hour.

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I haven't tried that, I will give it a shot. Thank you

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Maybe you can have him sleep with you. That way all you have to do is start nursing and you don't have to worry about putting him back to sleep and in his crib. Later you will have to train him to sleep in his own bed but you can decide which battle is worth battling, lol

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@Bounette yes, we do when he's teething! But honestly, we don't all fit in the bed anymore, so it's hella uncomfortable. For baby as well😅

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That sounds hard. Have you thought about talking with a sleep consultant? Angelique Milette is a phd and an amazing listener and good at finding solutions for family sleep

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Can you outsource some chores so you can nap during the day? During my pregnancy, I had a laundry service that would pick up my laundry and return it washed and folded the next day. Saved me a lot of time and energy. Obviously cost a little more money.

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My LO is 8mo on the 15th. I've dreaded nights for a while now, however things are pretty calm these days. For teething, I've tried chilling the rubber tethers in the fridge, lots of different ones. What seems to do the trick is crushed ice in a silicon teether. I give that to him as he lays on his back (still) so I can change diaper and do lotion effortlessly. Keep lights dim, and the TV is down quiet. We do jammies, then go to dark nursery with a night light and noise machine where I nurse then rock him to sleep. Usually that part is only 15 min. He also gets a dose 2-3mL Tylenol before bed if he's extra cranky. The other thing I struggled with was dropping a nap, keeping him awake a little longer in between. I would wear myself out fighting with him to get that 3rd nap in and have a later bedtime. Maybe that's some of the problem? Keep an eye on day sleep and awake time? Good luck ✨️

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Thank you, ladies.

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