Post separation abuse

I ended my relationship when my baby was just 4 weeks old. Hes now 16 weeks and the abuse just continues, we are in a never ending cycle of fake promises and i love you's. I had him arrested in December, he has since been given a caution. Iv blocked him im everything apart from email. He messages me several.times a day? He makes promises to change then breaks them within a days, constantly asking if im with someone else/talking to someone else (i mean its not like i have a baby to look after a 7 year old to look after, school runs, baby groups, DA support groups, appointments, shopping and daily house chores to do or anything) while he has all the time in the world as he doesnt work (had to quit when we broke up because he had to relocate to his parents) he drives and can pretty much go n do what he likes. Now this is the part im struggling with, why cant i just cut him off completely? If he backs off like i always ask him to do i get a little aggy and start wondering what hes doing and whats got him so busy.. so then i end up contacting him. Its so hard letting go of the imagine of what you THOUGHT your life was going to be like.

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Girl you gotta stay strong it’s because it’s still fresh. You just need to find stuff (friends, activities etc) to keep your mind off him. It’ll be hard but it’ll also be worth it. When you get lonely invest in self care whatever that may be for you it can be as simple as candle lit bath anything that makes you happy. Reach out to people to talk to etc. But if he hasn’t change all now trust me don’t expect him to and don’t try to change him no one can do that for him but him.

It’s a trauma bond and it is totally normal to feel the way you do. Definitely give yourself the space to process and grieve what you thought your life would be like with this person, the more you suppress it the harder it will be to let them go. I know it’s hard but bit by bit you will heal and truly move on with or without him around. You deserve someone to treat you with respect and love, and the right man for you would never put himself in a position to lose you repeatedly. Sending love

You might feel like you can’t do this BUT GIRL YOU GOT THIS!!💪🏾👍🏾 just remember that.

Give yourself time to process it all and cry as much as you want. It took me two years to get over a similar situation. It will get better trust me. Stay strong and don’t fall for his shit. He would have never abused you (and continued too now as well ) if he really loves you. He’s just a chapter of your life and you can and will eventually move on from all of this. Life is longggg and you deserve way better. Stay keeping busy it will help ❤️

Toxic trauma bond

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️