Valentine’s Day disappointment

Yes you have the right to be upset/disappointed. My partner doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day so no I didn’t get a card from him but a little something for my LB but that was because I sat down and spoke to him about how I felt about the day and I would like to enjoy the day.. he did finish work earlier and we had a nice sit down dinner together. Just go talk to him and say you like to do something on these hallmark days 🩵 if it makes you feel better I was also asleep by 9pm xx

He seems tired. Mentally and physically

Me and my partner don’t celebrate valentines because we show our love to each other everyday and that’s how it should be. He buys me flowers through the year, he buys me chocolates throughout the year. I buy stuff for him throughout the year.
That’s how we feel about it and to me valentines is too overrated.

if YOU feel some type of way just voice it. Your feelings are valid. 🩷 it does sound like he could be tired from working but still you know your husband. But I’m sure he would be willing to hear you out ❤️❤️❤️

I wish he bought me flowers and things like that throughout the year ☹️

totally. I wanted to get a second opinion to my feelings bc I also don’t want to start a fight if he’s going to think I’m ungrateful or unreasonable

as a SAHM that doesn’t get help at all during the week and still has to be up all night, so am I. I still made the effort to do something..

what is LB? And I’d say the same, he also tried to tell me buying a diamond ring was a scam and tried to convince me into a lab made diamond ring. But thanks for sharing. Believe me I was tired after dinner but I stayed awake to spend time together but he’s the one who fell asleep. Then I went down the rabbit hole and saw what my friends and families partners bought them (even the ones with babies) so I started to feel worse about the situation. I guess I just feel bad saying anything bc I don’t want to seem ungrateful.

If it makes you feel any better I did my card and candies for him, and made his favorite dinner…. He gets home from work “oh shit it Valentine’s Day……. Happy Valentine’s.” Then followed up with, “how did you manage all this without me knowing? Hahah “

I told him well it falls on the same day every year. Sk I’ve known about this day for quite some time and prepared… And he walks off to take a shower. He read the card and scarfed down the chocolates while watching YouTube on his phone. We barely spoke a word all evening. Needless to say I’m PISSED. I’m fucking exhausted being a default parent and SAHM. But I made the effort. I expect the same. Flowers and a card cost $6-$10, get it tf together

thank you!! It really just boils down to feeling valued, feeling thought about, wanting to be pampered, wanting to indulge in romance. I dedicate myself to taking care of our son, and to doing the majority of the household chores. I do my husband‘s laundry, I organize his closet. I don’t do all of that for nothing specific in return, but a little acknowledgment and appreciation here and there will definitely make me feel valued. From for Valentine’s Day. Specifically, I wanted everything I mentioned above. And I felt like even a simple card with a handwritten note, or even flowers, would have been a nice gesture. Being that he’s in construction, and goes to places like Home Depot and Lowe’s, it’s not like he could escape, Valentine’s Day. It’s all up in your face, so it’s not like he forgot. And I just want to be thought about even if it’s just on a Hallmark holiday. It would be different if he did something romantic during non-holiday or birthday related events.

I’m sorry your feelings are valid and I feel you. Could it be how these men were raised? All I know is that I have a son who could either follow in his dad‘s footsteps or catch on how I show love. He has friends, who I know, are very cultured, and likely grew up with a mom who stayed home with them, but every time they have visited, they never come empty-handed, they’ll come with flowers or a bottle of wine, or even diapers for the baby. and that is sweet. And I don’t need him to get me something all the time, just a little effort here and there or on one of the biggest romantic holidays 🤦🏽‍♀️ like hello?

Hunny I didn't even get a meal. I had even told him a few days prior to vday that a homemade card would mean more to me than anything he could buy and that didn't even happen. His excuse, "I couldn't wake up to do it during the night while u were asleep and not know about it" I mean honestly I feel like vday is overrated but I to am sahm and would like to feel loved and appreciated. I feel ya.

im sorry :( I think it’s pure laziness, but I was vocal about how it made me feel, and while we did get into a little bit of argument, he did surprise me the next day with a little something for my son. And he did apologize for it being late, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it if there were other times where he does cute things like that for me, but I can’t say there are. But I think it boils down to understanding each other’s love, languages, and ensuring that we’re filling each other’s cup.

Yes I totally agree with u. My husband used to leave me love notes at random places around the house. Make lil hearts shaped out of the most unusual pieces of whatever he was working with(he's a mechanic) but now since we've had kids it's like he doesn't seem to think that stuff matters to me anymore when I've broken down crying telling him that I just want to feel appreciated ya know

Aww!! actually he’s done something similar, carving my name in his desk, carving our initials in wood, even making an imprint in concrete 💕 but yeah when one gets comfortable it’s easy to just let it be. We gotta speak up 💕

Incog

Just saying he could be physically and mentally tired and finding it challenging to navigate it well. Another SAHM that doesn’t get help could’ve totally made 0 effort for their partner. People deal with adversity differently! Because he completely didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day when it’s something YOU like then, there must be something going on.

Incog, yes that is very true we do need to speak up. I actually told my husband that I knew we couldn't rlly afford valentines day gifts of any real expense but that's not what mattered to me and that a handmade card by him would mean more to me than any materialistic thing he could ever buy me. I did get him a gift and a card. It wasn't much but he's trying to grow his beard out so I got him a beard growth/grooming kit and I just got nothing.