Eating

This isn’t anything to do with my baby so no idea why I’m posting on here, but I can’t find anything on the internet and none of my friends are mums so I thought it would be worth a try. I have a 4yr old stepdaughter - her mum just messaged me about her eating which I said I have struggled with too. She is a TERRIBLE eater. She pushes her food around the plate constantly, she makes me count how many more mouthfuls she has to have until she’s done, she won’t eat more than around 6 mouthfuls and the other day she got into such a state she was physically sick onto her plate. She’s very appearance orientated (has to wear a dress to be pretty/has to have her hair done/loves makeup). I wonder if anyone has any older children and know if this is “normal” for a girl her age, or if we should be abit worried?
She loves chocolate and would sit and eat it all day, so I just thought she must be fussy with actual food, but just wanted to hear any opinions! Thanks! Xx

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I read your post over on the step mums page? This isn’t normal - particularly the appearance element of it.

If she’s in school I’d speak to their safeguarding lead, they can refer to quicken any process needed.

If not I would speak to doctor/nurse about it.

Xx

She could have sensory issues… it might not be diet orientated… it absolutely best to figure this out, for all of you. Xx

Yeah, I’m just really worried about her! My partner is abit useless (loves her dearly obviously but very clueless when it comes to things like this) and my mum was a eating disorder nurse and she’s been saying for a while now that she gets really worried when she sees the little girl, but I don’t want to step on any toes or upset anyone. I just really do worry about her.

I may speak to her mum as obviously it’s not my place to speak to schools etc but it’s clearly starting to worry her too.

I’m going to go with her tomorrow to the supermarket and try and make it “fun” and make up some dinners together and see if helps! Thanks so much! She’s so grown up and independent for her age which everyone admires and says how clever and amazing it is, but it just worries me haha! Xx

that’s really interesting as she has family history of sensory type issues so that could well be a thought. Yeah I think your definitely right, it’s horrible to see her get so worked up - it needs to be looked at for her xx

Just to put a different spin on it... food and the way they look is one of the things kids feel they can have control over (one of the very few things). It may be that she's struggling with something else and can't vocalise that. It could even be that she's struggling with being between 2 places. Please don't read that at all as you're not all doing a great job and that she shouldn't be shared between you btw. Just from a different psychology perspective. I'd def encourage speaking to school too x

no that’s a totally fair perspective and that’s what I thought to begin with tbh. It must be hard for kids to have “2 homes” especially when her little sister is here “full time”. And mum is having a new baby so there’s a lot of changes and big things happening.
Okay I’ll definitely speak to mum about getting school more involved - thanks everyone! Xx

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