Monster In Law

Have you brought this up to your partner? I feel like they need to draw some boundries and be the one to say something to her and stand up for you. For me, it's my family that crosses the lines, and I have to be the one to shut them down. It's not fair for me to expect my husband to put up with their bs/rudeness.

What is she doing? Setting boundaries are important even before the baby arrives. Is your husband on your side? It may be easier for him to set them since it’s his mother.

With my first, my MIL said she was going to show up at our house as soon as we got home from the hospital which is an absolute no from us. My husband told her automatically that if she tried he wouldn’t unlock the door for her to come in. My brother had a monster MIL and has had to kick her out of their house before.

Can you share specifics of what she is doing ?

Also, is this the first grandchild? Does she have any daughters?

In the beginning of my pregnancy I was in the same boat. I moved to a state far from my family not for any reason and I miss them daily but, I like being independent. My husbands family is the opposite and need constant communication and make us feel Guilty for not doing things with them. I had to set boundaries. She called me selfish and crazy but I just let my partner start dealing with the communication and leaving me out of it. It’s helped my mental health a lot and everything has been okay since. It felt so overwhelming how involved they wanted to be and caused some fights but I just like doing things alone.

This is mine & my husband's 1st child, but not her 1st grandchild. She has 2 other children & 4 other grandchildren. The 2 oldest grandkids are grown & she has always doted over them and tells everyone how perfect they are. She continually tells the 2 younger school-aged grandkids how they don't measure up, and that they are bad kids. She says this to their face repeatedly!! She is mentally abusive to them, in my opinion. Their dad says "Oh, that's just how Grandma acts". This is a similar statement to my husband saying "Oh, that's just Mom". !!!
In the past, she has asked me personal questions and then proceeded to tell everyone she knows about my personal life, adding to the story to make me look bad. She asks me how my husband's ex-girlfriends are doing, proceeding to tell me that "she was such a nice girl with a good family. I really wish they would've worked out". When my husband went back to school a few years ago, she told him he was not smart enough & was wasting his time going to classes.
...

... She tells others we are "poor" and can't afford to have a child. (We are not wealthy like her, but we are middle class and can handle it.)
Yesterday, after a long string of threatening messages, I simply texted back "Please leave me alone", and she blew her top off!! Mind you this was the first time in 11 years I have stood up for myself since meeting her! She proceeded to call her entire family and add to the story, making up horrible lies about me. She even went so far as to reach out to MY family! Wrong choice, lady!

Oh hell nooooooo she can kick rocks in my opinion. She’s sounds miserable with herself and needs to put everyone including her own damn kid down to make herself feel better. Gross behavior. I would tell her she’s crossed the fucking line and if she wants anything to do with your baby she needs to act right or get left