MIL wants me to call her mother.
My mother in law wants me to call her mother. In our culture it’s offensive to call anyone mom/mother other than your own mother. And tbh I highly agree with this! I don’t feel comfortable calling anyone else mom other than my beautiful mama. She is the one who gave birth to me, raised me and did all the hard work. That title only belongs to her, it’s not something I throw around loosely. I try to call her aunt out of respect but she doesn’t like it and tells me to call her mother.
My MIL also wants me to call all of her sisters mother which is just so weird to me. One of her sisters is at her house often so again I call her aunt out of respect but get told to call her mother as well. ( I don’t do it btw I just cannot get myself to say it.) my MIL also introduced me to her close friends and said they are all my mothers in law. I explained to her why I can’t call any of them mother but she doesn’t seem to get it. I asked my husband to speak to his mom as I really don’t feel comfortable calling anyone else mother other than my own. So he did and she said the same to him that it’s not to take away from what my mom did and she kinda understood. But then shortly after when she called my phone and I didn’t call back until 5 hours later she said to me “ why did you call back so late, you should call back quicker. Remember Jannah is under the feet of your mother” I was really shocked when she said that and quite upset. My husband said she was joking but it didn’t sound like a joke. My mom did everything for us, absolutely everything and gave up so much to raise us with so much love and she did such a great job. I just don’t feel like it’s right to call anyone else the same. Personally I would not like it if my daughter calls someone else mom when I went through such a traumatic birth and I’m doing all the hard work, no one else deserves that title. Any advice on how to handle it?
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I think it's weird where she wants u to call her friends/sisters "mum". Depending on your culture and your in laws culture, I don't think its weird to call your mother in law.. mom.
But it maybe also depend how your relationship is with your mil.
I would say just come up with a fun name which u both agree on like mimi, so she can get a title n for u it won't be mom
Sis different cultures can be a bit hard in my culture we call our FIL and MIL father or mother out of respect. This is permissible in Islam. To call the friend’s mother is just too much and really weird in my opinion. However I totally understand this might be weird to you. My husband doesn’t agree with call in laws MIL and FIL he just respect addresses them politely. And when they say mum and dad he just listens. I agree with sis comming up with a fun name sounds nice. Unfortunately sometimes it’s hard to change the elder generation with what they are used to
We come from different cultures. My husband is East African and I am Middle Eastern. I think coming up with a fun name is the best solution. I know it’s permissible to do it as it doesn’t say anywhere it’s haram however it doesn’t say in our religion that we MUST call our in laws mother and father. This is a matter of preference and culture but nowhere in Islam does it say we must do it. In our culture it is just not acceptable. Your mother is the one who’s womb you came out of and who raised you. I feel like it takes away from everything my mother has done for me and I’m just not okay with calling anyone mother and father other than my biological parents. In our culture out of respect we say aunt and uncle, I don’t think I should give up my beliefs and values just because I married a different culture. The status of a mother is extremely important, it’s not a title I throw around loosely and it belongs to the woman who carried me for 9 months, gave birth to me and raised me.
Aww sis I totally understand we’re your coming from x I hope things get easier for you sis and they understand your perspective 🤍
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