Is he cheating on me?

Personally, I think he’s up to something. Or has been up to something. It could’ve been just a couple of days but he’s definitely done something the shouldn’t have. Even if it was just messaging other women, it’s still wrong in my opinion.

And I deleted my tinder as soon as me and my partner officially started something ‘exclusive’. Never once have I received any form of email from them since. And to have a billed subscription from them, you have to have a live account which means he either reactivated it or never deleted it to begin with.

I’m 95% sure tinder emails aren’t automated. Especially not the hidden profile one. If you’re not active on your account for a certain amount of time they do stop showing it to people. But you don’t get an email to say that. The hidden profile email is because he’s deliberately hid his profile, then the couldn’t stay away one is because he’s unhid it again.
He’s gaslighting you very badly

I’m pretty sure I’ve never deleted my account & I don’t get any emails off it - for reference I’ve been with my partner over 2 years now. I’d personally say he’s up to something 😞 don’t let him gas light you into making you think it’s all in your head! Xx

@Lorren he told me it must have kept trying to take the payments because that's how they "make their money". In my head i know he has because I'm seeing it with my own eyes. My heart is telling me he could be right.. I need to listen to my head and not be stupid. He's trying to turn it around on me and tell me how stupid I am for believing it and wrong... I'm so shocked, he never seemed like the type of guy I've a 1 year old and 6m pregnant. Sucks

Hate to say it but definitely up to something, emails like that’s don’t just “pop up”

@Amelia thank you this is what I needed to read, I wasn't sure how it worked properly. God I feel SICK. X

Have him log into it in front of you to prove he hasn’t been on it. Then get him to check the messages on it

@Kate if he's deleted the app on his phone would it all still be there when he reinstalls it then? X good idea

Oh hun he’s definitely up to something. Booking an airbnb for a secret party? What would you say if a friend told you their partner did this?

I haven’t a clue now tinder works but it sounds very sus. Especially the air bnb.
Definitely get him to log on in front of you. I’d he’s telling the truth he should have no problem.
I think that’ll give you all the answers you need.

I’m finding the timing really suspicious as well - he’s getting
the welcome back email the same month he books an Airbnb for a secret party? Any chance you could confirm this with the friends he claims were at this party? Or their respective partners if you know them?
Also, even if tinder did send automated emails to inactive users, it wouldn’t be what you’ve pasted above, it would rather be something trying to get people to come back in my opinion, this makes zero sense.
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but trust your instincts and don’t let him gaslight you x

I've been there. Wish I would have left at that very moment. You can't believe a word he's saying. Don't drag yourself down trying to believe him either. You either accept he's up to something AND lying, or you leave. It's as simple as that.

I've been in your position unfortunately and after alot of digging I confirmed that you actively have to purchase that. Also, if it were on auto renewal there wouldn't be a confirmation email.
Really sorry to hear you are in this position. I would personally calmly talk to them, being certain and assertive and discuss why those decisions were made by him and where you go from here, but certainly do not let yourself be tricked/manipulated.
At the end of the day, he may be a cereal cheater or he may be a human who made a one-off mistake, but you need 100% honesty from him.

Definitely cheating or trying to sorry.

What do I do from here? I'm 6m pregnant with a new year old. Do I kick him out and get some head space? Is that mean, do I let him stay? Thanks so so much for the help because his gas lighting almost worked.. the heart can be a fool.

Keep an eye him. Been here before many times. I’d get him to log in with you present. See when *his* last sent messages were. That will give an indication if he’s been on and messaging people. I’d also get him to go into settings and delete the profile. If he continues to receive these “automated” emails, then you know.
I deleted the app and I don’t get these emails. So just be cautious!

He’s cheating. How is it mean for you to kick him out if he’s betraying you? Get rid of him. Leave ! Don’t stay for the kids, just leave.

Nah that's super fishy! when me and my partner got together I got a new phone and genuinely forgot to unsubscribe from it on my old phone, only realised when it came up as a notification on play store asking if i wanted to reinstall it on my new phone about 6 months later.. id obv signed up with my google mail and it was connected via that, i put my hands up and explained to my partner what happened as i genuinely had nothing to hide and we don't keep secrets, I then unsubscribed straight away... i never receieved any of these emails until i reinstalled it to cancel it, so he has 100% been on it, i never received any more emails from it while it wasn't in use or after I unsubscribed! I'm sorry I think he's lying to you, and think to yourself, if the payments bounced why doesn't he have emails about that as they 100% would inform him somehow that payment failed, and surely if payment failed they would have suspended his account? Which you would think they would also notify him via email.. sorry x

Hmm I dunno, something seems fishy to me.

The only saving grace that he could use is that the emails are still there. Like, almost as if he doesn’t feel he has something to hide so why delete the emails if it was a genuine mistake/delayed billing thing.

But I beg to differ.

Don’t let him gaslight you. The more he does, the more I say he’s hiding something.

Only thing is, I don’t know what to suggest as a way forward. Because it would be difficult to prove unless you got onto his account. By which point, he’ll have probably already panic deleted any wrong doing and there won’t be anything to see.

I’d maybe question the Airbnb situation more. It’s weird that he would hide that from you. Why would he feel the need to have a secret party? And as someone said above.. suspicious that it’s in the same month of the Tinder payments.

Something isn't right. I'm so sorry. Trust your gut, you deserve better.

Sounds very suspicious and definitely been up to something. I’m not really sure how it works but if he was talking to someone wouldn’t he need to match with them? And if he did wouldn’t he get emails to say he’s got a match etc? I’d try login to his tinder if you know his details he uses or from his phone. Or else create your own fake tinder and see if you can find him on it for yourself xx

yeah completely agree. I met my husband on Tinder 5 years ago. I never received an email, and I don't think I deleted my account either, just deleted the app

What a POS.
You and your bubbas are WAY better off without this hedonist!
Sending strength Mamma, it feels absolutely devastatingg to be betrayed.
My baby's Father delivered a massive blow to my trust recently in the form of a big fat whopper of a lie, for a year I was duped.
It's difficult to accept and say NEVER again (and mean it) but I think you will feel better off for doing it. Your confidence and sanity, and maybe even your Mothering, will suffer otherwise. It's up and down but you'll find your feet soon Xxx

Time to break up. It’s right in front of you, guys will make every excuse in the book to make you feel crazy. He’s definitely doing something!!

i just went through my emails to see what kind of messages i have from tinder (from back when i had it, which was about a year ago) and i stopped getting emails shortly after using it, and the emails stated that i had been ghosting the app. so this man 100% has been using tinder. have you looked through his deleted email box to see if there was any other evidence? don’t let this man gas light you… you deserve better

Oh boy, this kept getting sadder and sadder as I read on

I’d try to make a fake profile and go on it looking for him as I’m sure it says if they’ve been active etc.

Definitely cheating or at least tried to. Personally that’d be it for me. Even if he didn’t actually have sex with anyone, trying to cheat would still be a dealbreaker for me.
And to think he was leaving you alone at home to care for your toddler and also pregnant, while out there looking for p**** is actually disgusting. 🤢
And I’m so sorry this happened to you ! 💔

Yes he’s definitely cheating. There are guys stay on the app even when they get married. Better let him go, otherwise, he may give you STDs. Sorry you’re going through this. Find alot of support from friends and family