Terrible 2s are real

I had a really bad day yesterday with my 2yr, to the point I was tears multiple times.

The screaming, shouting, was unreal. She also has a thing at the moment of telling me to go away which really upsets.

Discipling her doesn't work as she just keeps screaming and moving away.

I end up shouting at her (which doesn't work by the way she just carrys on) which made me more upset as I dont want to be that parent.

And then to top of feeling like a bad mom, took her to he drs for a cough she's had over a week and was made to feel bad for not notices her breathing with her muscles

No point to this post really, just to get it off my chest.

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I’m sorry things are so rough. I don’t have any advice but I can relate to how hard it is. Also my girl has had a cough for what seems like weeks now and isn’t going away. I’m sorry you were made to feel bad after taking her to the doc, what do you mean by breathing with her muscles? Xx

Oh lovely it's so hard at this age.
For me I always say okay I'll leave you alone but just know mum is here. When my daughter screams at me I ask her to calm down a MD talk quietly as I don't understand her when she's loud or sad etc x

she would mean that she's breathing in at the ribs. Using her muscles to breathe not her lungs. She probably has rsv

@Amanda he could see her muscles dipping below her ribs. Been given an inhaler for viral wheeze, he says its similar to asthma

Just here to say that I can totally relate to everything you're saying. My daughter is testing me so much at the moment and it's making me feel like a terrible mum.
Her tantrums/meltdowns are awful. She seems so angry and distressed and just so, so sad. She also properly kicks and thrashes out when she's like that. Last week she did it when we were trying to leave soft play, I had to even find a space place for her because her thrashing was dangerous for others nearby. It's awful.
So just here to say that you're not alone. It's so hard.
At that soft play last week, a lovely grandmother came up to me afterwards and hugged me and told me I was doing great and that it will all pay off. I'm sure that grandmother could see you, she'd say just the same to you 😊. You're doing great!

Terrible 2s is such a rubbish name lol. It should be called the independent 2s. Whilst it probably won’t fix every problem, try offering more options, like get a couple of outfits out and let her choose, and then same with food, plates, cups etc.. just little things like that will make them feel more in-control of themselves. Also try not to say “no” as such. Instead say first we are going “this” maybe we can do that later. At 2 they have so many big feelings and everything is decided for them already, and they aren’t fully able to communicate exactly what they want and feel. It results in a total shut down of emotions this is where “terrible twos” comes from. Also, whilst there in this stage there is no reasoning with them, they physically are not able too. Make sure they know you’re around but just keep quiet and calm and let them go through it. Offer a hug at the end.

@Charly aww that grandmother would have made me cry.

@Hayley thankyou for this advice, I'm going to try it tomorrow.
She's been much better today thank god

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Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

This might rattle some people

Ok, this might get a bit long, and a bit bumpy, so get comfy and buckle up.

So about a week or 2 ago, there was a post on here regarding sleepovers. Not letting their child go to them as you can't trust who'll be at the house etc.

Now, given recent incidents in nurseries and schools, plus my own experience back in the 90s, I am more concerned about sending my child to nursery and later school than I am to a friend's house for a sleep over.

The other day a man was jailed for abusing children at the nursery he worked at. A woman has been arrested for sleeping with an underage boy and then getting pregnant by a different underage boy while on bail for the first offence.

Young girls and boys get sexually harassed and bullied when at school, not all of them. But more than you think. And not just by other kids, but by adults who we as parents are trusting to look after our kids.

A sleepover, is a more controlled environment, with only a handful of people coming into contact with your child. A school, a club etc there can be 100s of people coming into contact with your child.

I was targeted at 7 years old by the owner of a prominent private school. Thankfully, I wasn't SA'd. In year 5 of primary school, I started to develop early, I was harassed by the boys and teachers made remarks about how my uniform didn't fit right, always "adjusting it" around my chest and legs.

Years 7-9 of secondary school were hell. But it was all under the guise of "we're just messing around". A teacher twanging my exposed bra strap (none uniform day) is not "messing around".

Boys pinning me down trying to rip open my shirt to see my breasts.

I fear for my daughter. I hope she takes after my father's family, flat chested.

We need to educate all our children, what is acceptable behaviour. And to come to us, as their parents should ANYTHING happen.

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.

Help

My LO every feed. Drs don’t seem to think it’s a problem the whole Muslim cloth gets soaked so much I’m using towels now. I’ve tried size O teats he gets really frustrated and still spills it out :(

How to help my husband understand why I'd like to breastfeed

My husband is very supportive, but he is also someone who wants to make things as easy and as stress free as possible.

With our first child, I tried to breastfeed, but due to my own medical issues postpartum, baby and I were separated a lot and my milk dried up so quickly. We introduced formula around 2 weeks PP, and I tried pumping as much as I could, but it just lead to nothing. It was heartbreaking. It definitely ruined a lot of those early weeks for me, I was wrecked with guilt and sadness. I cried every day and felt like such a failure.

Now my son is a healthy, happy 2 year old and I eventually came to terms with formula feeding him. He was quite content with the first formula we tried, never had feeding or gas issues etc, so it felt like a much easier option.

Obviously my husband witnessed all of this and now we're expecting our second baby, he sort of assumed we'd just go straight to formula.

I told him pretty early that I'd like to try breastfeeding again, and although I won't be putting so much pressure on myself this time, I've also done more research and I'm more prepared for the hard times that might come up in the early days/weeks, and I'm trying to prepare for any complications.

He's very supportive and says it's totally up to me and hasn't tried to sway me either way, but I do get a feeling the moment things get difficult PP he will automatically be buying formula. And he won't mean it in a bad way, he'll just be trying to make things easier for me and take off the pressure. He won't understand that it's unhelpful.

His thinking is that as long as baby is fed that's all that matters, and I agree mostly! But I also understand how beneficial breastfeeding can be and want to give it all my effort if I'm able!

So I guess I'm asking, are there any good resources I could send him to read? Preferably nothing too long/wordy, but something that explains the benefits and how to best support me during this time too? (Also something preferably from the UK as I know guidance can differ depending on country)