Am I the a-hole?

I have no clue how much the flights or a dogsitter could be. But is there any way to reduce the costs? Find a teenager to dogsit who would accept a lower remuneration?
Is a rental car really necessary? Can't the in-laws pick you up from the airport?

I personally did not buy anything to baby proof my parents' place when I visited with my 1yo son.

I think I would try to find a way! 😊

I believe family is more important than anything. A 60th birthday is super important. She might not be there anymore for her 70th (we hope she has many more birthdays but who knows).

I would be happy if my husband insisted on having me. 🤗

But I don't know your situation, of course, and that's just my opinion.

we’ve been watching flight prices for months but we’re flying into a small regional airport which makes the flights crazy expensive. And no, the in-laws can’t pick us up (they don’t have a car that can seat 5 people + bags).

Personally, especially coming from someone living in Los Angeles, I don’t think a trip is worth it if it’s causing you guys any financial or emotional stress. It may even be worth it to offer to pay for her alone to come out to you guys at another time. But it has to work out for you and your family. Whatever you decide.

Personally I would say go too. She only turns 60 once whilst money comes and goes. For me generally short term financial hardship would be worth it if it meant I take part in such an important event that would create long lasting memories for everyone.

Having said that will there be a big event to mark the occasion? Are birthdays important for the family? If there’s no big event then I wouldn’t feel bad by delaying the trip and celebrating a late birthday. Depends on the circumstances really

there is no event, we’re just hanging out at the house.

I would try and swing them coming to visit you - go halfsies on flights or something.

But the most important thing would be to be open about the financial pressures that you're under with them. People don't like talking about money but I think in situations like this it can make it a lot simpler when everyone understands the reasoning.

Very clear, I wouldn’t be going.

you might be able to save a bunch of money by flying into an airport in a major city and then driving. My husband and I did that when we went to my cousins wedding in Tucson. We saved about $400 per person by flying into Las Vegas and driving the 6 hours down to Tucson. It turned into a mini road trip and it was awesome seeing the countryside. We also got to go to the Grand Canyon!

We canceled a family trip because of this as well. We didn’t want to be deeper in debt and so we told the family we would not be joining for the new year trip & we are beyond happy we did it.

My family told me they spend so much money on the trip and I am so happy we backed out without penalties. My family also offered to pay for us so that we went but we still had to settle the dogs and by snow gear and etc and it just wasn’t the right time.

So follow your gut, if he says all or none, then go with what your gut says .

I told my husband, I rather pay off debts or put money towards other needs then blow it on a 5 day trip to come back worse then we left. And this decision has helped up propel forward financially.

I didn't go to a friend's wedding because we couldn't afford for all of us to go, but I could have gone alone. I just wasn't ready at the time... However this has turned out to be one of my biggest regrets! It could be that your hubby is having trouble even conceptualizing how it would work. Maybe book it just for him with refundable ticket options, and 'practise' him being away from home for an evening or even an overnight?