Still can’t forget…

My husband said if I were a guy he would have hit me. When I asked “so you felt like hitting me then ?” His reply was yes. He told me he was making food. I thought his tone was off with me and I replied back with “I’m only asking” and I rolled my eyes without knowing. That’s when he said it. It’s been a while, 3 months to be exact. I haven’t thought about it and when it has come to my mind I just tried to shut it off but today whilst I was exercising it came into my head and it made me very upset and makes me question our marriage. I haven’t told my husband as when I did bring it up like a month after he was annoyed at me saying why are you bringing it up when we’ve sorted it. It still hurts the same and I don’t know who to talk to. There’s a woman I’m close with at work so I think I might tell her as she will keep it private but how do I get over this I just don’t know. I felt like I could share everything with my husband. Even at my lowest points but regarding this matter I can’t. I don’t know whether I’ve just tried to keep strong for my son. Actually had a health visitor appointment today to check my son’s development and the woman asked me how I was feeling in myself and I said I was fine. I don’t know if that’s what brought back the flashback about what my husband said to me. I’m posting this because I feel like someone might resonate with me with what I’m going through perhaps and I just don’t want to speak to anyone else about this just yet. We are trying for another baby too so this is not helping. These intrusive thoughts 😭 it’s bad I know but I never want my son to turn out like him in that regard. It scares me. He’s not an emotional person either so with feelings he’s not really great. Meaning when I’m upset etc..

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You have influence on your baby too teach him how not to be also if you still thinking about it maybe you should try to communicate you feel a certain way about it and it feels unresolved especially if he never apologized for what he said

I’ve often said horrible stuff to my partner when I’ve been angry or in an argument just like he has with me, we never mean the things we’ve said in the heat of the moment, think this is maybe the same for him? Unless you actually feel like he ever would hit you? If you feel threatened in your relationship then you shouldn’t be in it, but if it was just said in the moment and not actually meant I think you need to try and move on from it. X

You will only feel better when you tell him how you feel and he tries to make things work. If not it will keep hunting you .

So because you rolled your eyes that means he can think to hit you? If my partner had said that to me I would have said go on then do it. See what happens when you do because you won't have any access to your kid. Sorry not sorry

I know hun it does make me very angry and upset when I think about what he said. I can say I think he will never say it again but I can’t say for sure. I know for a fact if he ever did hit me I would be out of that door as I wouldn’t stand for it. I just didn’t think 3 months on from when he said it. It would still be affecting me this day and I know I need to talk to someone about it because it’s killing me from the inside when I think about it. Having another kid scares me as well in alot of ways because it’s my body that has to go through it. He so badly wants another baby and don’t get me wrong I want my son to have another sibling but these thoughts just keep coming into my mind.

no it’s not the first time. He’s said it 2 times before but at the time I just laughed it off as we were having banter I think, not thinking anything of it. I don’t want to cause an argument bringing it up that’s the problem. I’m worried he will be angry with me for bringing it up again.

It’s hard for him to sympathise with other people not just me. In few situations where I’ve said it’s sad for someone he just says well it’s their problem. He didn’t show this side to me at the start.

I know it’s easy for some to say just leave but it’s not that easy. Especially if you love the person. He’s never actually hit me or any woman in his life. He never had a gf before me either.

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If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?