Help cuz I’m gonna lose my shit

I’d tell him not to bother coming if he can’t hold off on smoking a cigarette until after he leaves. I wouldn’t want someone stinking of smoke to hold me either.

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/secondhand-smoke.html#:~:text=Smokers%20should%20wash%20their%20hands,anything%2C%20to%20reduce%20smoke%20exposure. I’d just send him this and say I’m sorry your offended, but my child’s health comes first.

Maybe you would have spoken to your other half about the cigarette and let him carefully draw your FIL Attention to it, you are very right in you not wanting him to stick of Cigarettes whilst with your child, but These Oldies Appreciate Politeness and Respect, So his son telling him would have been better.

My thoughts would be that you just Apologise and tell him you may have sounded straight in passing the message but his grandchild Safety and wellbeing is your Priority.

absolutely will not be apologising for setting a boundaries on protecting my child’s health. My partner has told him numerous of times to not hold the baby after he’s had a cig or to not have one whilst he’s with us . If me asking him not to do something that may effect my child os disrespectful then the problem lies with him. I do not believe me asking him not to do something is in anyway disrespectful. These people would have red carpets rolled out for them I’m not sure who entitled them to this feeling that there above everyone else that believe they deserve a different level of communication and constant apologies. It’s toxic behaviour quite frankly and I will not tolerate it

Id tell him if he feels that you domt respect him then there is no need for him to be coming over to visit

I have said my
Partner said that his family have ever right to see the baby though they bully me and are horrible to me