Marriage Advice

Though it sucks you’re being treated like this as I’m sure you deserve better… May I ask why that’s relative to being put before your child? I don’t understand from the status why it is relevant.

Have you tried to talk to him about how you’re feeling? Would he be open to marriage counselling? X

Our marriage comes first. For both of us.

You should definitely be put first. The lack of respect breaks my heart cause I am in the same boat. You deserve to feel loved, valued, and respected. Little acts like what you listed can go a long ways. Don't put up with the BS especially if he makes comments like "you think you can find someone better" cause mama you can.

I agree you should be put first. I recently had the same issue come up with my husband and it came up that I stopped doing those little things for him too. I don’t know if it applies to you, but if it does, start doing those little things for him again and you might start seeing him want to do them for you too.

Men carry a burden we don’t see sometimes, as providers and protectors. Maybe it’s not so much about respect but about coming together and understanding each others roles. In my relationship, we’ve constantly had to put an effort into keeping our relationship healthy. Several of the years, it’s been me carrying that weight on my back but at the end of the day, we both understand that it takes constant work and effort. If he’s had a long day, find ways to serve him and let him know you’ve also had a long day and you would like him to xyz for you on days like those so that he doesn’t have to spend more time guessing what you want than actually doing. Every relationship is different but one thing is always the same: it takes conscious effort and work to continuously choose one another. Instead of arguing, understand it’s both of you vs the problem not you vs him. Make him understand you might be irritable over things that aren’t relative to him but that you would love to be loved on.

Love languages can vary. My partner sucks at those little things too. Unfortunately, I've not found a way yet to help him stick to doing them. But based on other things he does, i can see him speaking in his own love language. I just had to learn to understand it!

Have you tried understanding his love language? It is easiest for us to fall into the habit of expressing love to others in our own preferred love language. Doesn't mean he doesn't care, just means you two need to find better communication/understanding.

The outburst asking if you think you can find someone better.... was that said in a moment of anger, or is it fairly normative for him to speak like that? If the first, then he just needs to learn how to reel in his anger and find better ways to express his feelings. If the latter, then unfortunately he just may not care about showing you the love you want or need