I am so overly annoyed with my husband every time we fight. We both fight really ugly and I think we’re both just over it. If it was solely based on us arguing I would definitely be done, BUUUT when we’re doing good he’s the best the best dad provider husband and I absolutely adore him. I know we will argue for the rest of your lives but I cannot do this forever.
Do you guys think I will regret breaking things off solely based on how we argue?
Backstory: We’ve been together for 11 years, previously he would yell cuss and make me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME. I got tiered of my pity parties and decided to “match his energy.” I lost respect for him because it was so easy for him to be mean I stupidly decided I would just do the same to see how he likes it. Now he stopped cussing but he is so rude and now I cuss at him and yell, not proud of it but i know my faults and I cannot force myself to stop once mad I’ve been trying 😭 also he refuses to go to therapy because “it doesn’t work, it’s a waste of money, a stranger can’t tell me what’s best for me”
Would you keep trying to fix things or is this done since the respect once mad is gone
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First I would like to say I’m sorry your going through this and I’m here if you want to message me I know exactly how this feels and put up with this for many many many years I cried everyday and wrote everything in my journal. Ask yourself this if your son or daughter had Someone like this would praise them or feel sorry for them and tell them to run as fast as they can

I’m sorry you’re going through this but I don’t think you would regret ending things based off of how intense the arguments get
Granted yes marriages will have DISAGREEMENTS but never should it be disrespectful and hurtful
That’s very toxic
Love is kind and patient
I wouldn’t say end things but give therapy a try sounds like you both need individual therapy as well .. especially him, if everytime there is a disagreement he has to be mean.
Haha I just read the last part ….
So if therapy is off the table
Then no sacrifices are being made and he doesn’t want to fight for his marriage and that’s a problem

try retrouvaille (google it and join together) if it works, great, if it doesn’t, leave. Atleast you know you tried.

I would lay down my feelings and explain that I wanted to try to fight for our marriage. That counselling was something I feel we both need to move forward and that our arguments were being toxic and affecting my me tal health.
Did he want to fight for us and come to therapy?
If yes, then it won't hurt to try, and if he says no, well, you know you tried and can leave the relationship knowing you tried to save it.
I'm sorry you are going through this and good luck ❤️